The Helford Trials (Helford #3)

Chapter Fourteen

                 

"I have made a lot of mistakes, but here is not where I will atone for them," Caitie told the camera, her mouth moving like she might want to smile at that, but she didn't. Her eyes were still as jagged as broken glass, as ruthless as the killer I knew she could be. My heart lurched at how familiar she was, at how much I wished it wasn't a recording. "I suppose, if this is being viewed by many, it will be because Jasper Woodburn is being put to trial for his crimes against the nations of the world. Lys Asbury will have presented it to you, because she has become one of the only people on the outside that I can trust. I realize that, now. So, yes, I have made my mistakes-but you would be making a worse mistake if you did not hear about Operation Geronimo from my perspective, before it kills me."

Caitie shifted in her chair. I knew the one it was, the one at the desk. I thought it was just as uncomfortable as she seemed to find it. Somehow, the thought was reassuring, like a silent connection to her when I was so busy grasping in the dark for anything of her, as I had been from the first day.

"I do not know how I will die, of course," Caitie allowed, this time smiling just a little. It was bitter, and it was beautiful. "It will depend on the circumstances, I suspect. There's a chance I will live, but I know I will not, so I won't hope for it. This wasn't designed for me to live, as much as I like to pull off miracles. But whether I pull the trigger, or Marci Letchworth, you must know one thing-it will not have been her, or Shawn Masterson, or myself that killed me. It will have been Jasper Woodburn, and here is why.

"From the beginning, I have trusted him when I should not have. I have trusted him for five years now, and have always followed his plan, thinking that he was the greater good. It wasn't until he decided to stage my death to Helford--a convenient excuse he gave in order to get rid of me for good, but that will come in later-that I began to suspect and, since then, I have been paying more attention. I have been loyal, but I have been observing. I have been singlehandedly collecting all that you will need to put Woodburn away. But, now that I'm coming to what will certainly be the last hours of my life, I know that you will not need my testimony--the evidence will be plentiful. So I will say what I know about Geronimo, and I will stay silent about the rest.

"Woodburn first approached me with the idea of Geronimo before he designed for me to be implanted into the British government. Mostly, that was just a job to keep me busy, to keep me on the sidelines for when he will need me. He called me back up to bat when it was convenient for him, and when he would have a scapegoat. Woodburn is not a dumb man-indeed, he's rather brilliant. He's a strategist. He knows when to strike, and he knows when to hold his fire. I was just one of his weapons, the same as I was for Helford, but I wanted to think it was for the better. It wasn't. I know better now."

Caitie looked so determined, but so resigned. I tried to imagine her, sitting up not being able to sleep the night before everything went wrong, knowing that she had only hours left to live, not being able to tell anyone else. My chest panged at the thought. What a life she must have lived, knowing all of these horrible truths but not letting them break the surface. Being so blindly loyal to what she thought was right that, when it turned on her, even then she didn't want to say it out loud, because it would be like admitting she was a fool.

I wish she had told me. I wish she hadn't sat up all night and known she was going to die. Caitie deserved to have lived better than that.

"Geronimo is the systematic murder of Shawn Masterson, made at the expense of other people. As I'm speaking now, I do not know who will have made it out, but I hope--" Caitie's voice broke, surprising me like getting doused with cold water. Beside me, Valerie flinched, her nails digging into my wrist. Caitie cleared her throat and continued like nothing had happened at all, "I hope that my companions will have made it free, because they weren't meant to be here. This operation was meant for me alone, but Woodburn sent us here, hoping to kill us all. By putting all of the people on my side in this house, just waiting to die, he could get rid of all of the people who would stand by me in one foul swoop. He knows they will fight for me, and he hopes that they will die in the process. It's worth more that way, you know, with martyrs.