The Wonderer

Sadie lies in her bed, looking up at her blank foamed ceiling and blank foamed walls. Oh how she finds it depressing to live in such a state as this. Living in a life where you never know if you will think normally, or start to think you are being chased by vicious beasts who take over your territory. Schizophrenia is a terrible disease she had been diagnosed with over 10 years ago. It ruining her only chances of ever having a real family and being a normal kid living in those happy homes you see in movies.

That's all Sadie ever wanted was a life where she could live to be happy. Only every night, she suffers with the suffocating room closing in on her lungs, while the demons underneath her cold damp bed, come out to play with her mind. She could never leave the darkness of Schizophrenia because first and foremost it was her. It pushed and pulled on her every day and every night urging her to let it take over. What the sickness doesn't know is she will never stop fighting to be cured.

Her grandmother has told her stories about how she grew up in the same state of mind as her. How she danced with the dark and fought the wild beasts wanting to take her inner soul. How also she came out of it and have begun to live as a normal human being who fell in love, got married, and had children. Her Grandma Alice was the only family member to come visit her in this insane asylum. Maybe its because she is the only one who understands being alone in this sacred room being taunted by your own mind.

Its a scary thought knowing you scared away almost all your family at only the age of 6. She remembers playing outside in the dirt with her two best friends, who always got into trouble. Denver and Dabney, were the only two friends who would ever play with her but her mother didn't understand why so. She didn't understand how her only daughter could be playing with these imaginary "twin brothers". They weren't imaginary because in Sadie's mind, they were real.

Her mother never quite grasped the concept that her daughter was different then the other little girls. While, other little girls played dress up with other little girls, Sadie would dig in the dirt with Denver and Dabney searching for the white rabbit. She hated her mother who signed her to be put in this white hell hole. Just like her father, her mother gave up on her and found the easier way out.

Yes, they tried medicines but it only made this case worse. She would jump off the walls and start to pull her hair out, because she could feel the fire burn her flesh with power, as the pain wouldn't go away. She would go into mild seizures because the beast would gnaw on her flesh. Why couldn't she be normal, Why was she born with this disease?

Sadie let her mind run wild like this every night, thinking of the same things over and over. Her parents, her grandma, Denver and Dabney, the white rabbit, so on and so on. She felt the sweat drip down her brow and she wiped it off with the stained sheets that the nurses never change. Not only was she fighting monsters, but she was the monster herself.

Sadie could never ask to live a normal life, but she learned to live with the life she has. Every day, she marks another day she has lived with Schizophrenia on her foamy plastic wall, which was another day she has learned to survive. The only thing she asks for is just a little bit of sleep before they call for her again. They needed her. They were coming soon, and she only had a little bit of time.

Sadie's eyes falls shut and lets her mind take her to far off places to ease the pain just for a little while.

She hopes.

A/N

This is my first time really writing a story so bare with me. I feel like this will be an awesome journey with Sadie as she takes us through her mind, and other places. If you have ideas on upcoming events that should happen message me or comment, I would love to hear them! If you don't mind letting me know on my writing technique it would be totally appreciated! I need to learn how to change it up and be a better writer! That's it for now darlings!

-InTheMindOfElla