He was nothing to her but a stranger, a shadow in the darkest part of the alleys, a whistle in the dark when she looked particularly nice. She was his whole life, his everything, the one thing that kept him going. Yet he was in an alley, watching her instead of approaching her. Every night, he followed her and watched her every move, wanting to tell her more than anything that he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
But he knew that these thoughts could never be spoken. His beloved Clarissa was far too fragile and innocent to hear these thoughts and Robert could not find the right words to express the depth of his love and admiration if he tried. He had accepted that he would never be anything to her and was content to just watch her walk to her car, her hips swaying rhythmically, creating a beautiful melody that soothed Robert's soul. She gave him so much without even knowing it. Every little thing about her was perfect in Robert's eyes. Her pale, almost vampiric skin was a blank canvas that only the finest artists could paint on. Her majestic eyes were vast oceans full of vivacity and life. Her beautiful figure never ceased to amaze him. Robert would do anything to make her want him.
He had attempted to get her attention many times before. He had called for her in clubs and danced with her, savoring the solitary dance he could have with her before a more attractive man came along, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more. He had sent her flowers to her office and bought her more drinks in a month than he had gotten for his wife in ten years.
Today was a special day for them and Robert's love and devotion was greater than it ever had been. Ten years ago, on this very day, he met the enchanting woman who had taken over his life and become his better half. His love did not flicker even after all these years. Their relationship was better than any he had ever had. If they had started dating ten years ago, they would have been happily married with a beautiful, healthy child and another on the way, kicking in Clarissa's womb as Robert gently stroked his lovely wife's growing stomach.
Robert smiled, relishing his little fantasy of marital bliss, envisioning Clarissa and himself on their wedding night, wearing the prettiest, most elegant clothing they would ever own, wanting more than anything to take them off and get in the hot tub on the deck of the condo Robert had rented for the week. Similar images of their life together played through Roberts head like a romantic movie that he would never admit he watched willingly. He was truly happy for the first time in months and he enjoyed it for a few precious moments.
After he could no longer pretend to have the life he dreamed of, his happiness disappeared and reality hit him, shooting through his body like a grenade, tearing him apart piece by piece. He went rigid and anger and disappointment coursed through his veins, making his blood boil and his heart fall to the ground and shatter on the concrete. He realized that he had lost himself in his pursuit of one person, an average woman with a less than spectacular body and a dull social life. Clarissa was not the priceless jewel that Robert had made himself believe she was. She was no better than Veronica. He smacked himself and cursed under his breath. Clarissa was just as bitchy as his wife. She loved him just as much as Veronica did at this point. He had thrown away a perfectly good marriage just to stalk a woman who refused to acknowledge his existence. 'Stop it,' he told himself. Clarissa was not Veronica. She could be trusted to love him and take care of him and maybe the house and kids too. She would let him focus on his painting and have the life he dreamed of. She just needed to get to know him. She would love him if she knew what he could give her. Robert decided to give her that chance.
He pulled a gun out of his pocket and shakily aimed it at Clarissa's leg. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to. He could "save" her and nurse her back to health. She would love him then. She would see what he could be. She would see that the drunken slob in the alley was actually a gorgeous prince disguised as a hideous beast. He felt as if he was no longer in his own body. He had something to hope for and for the first time in years he knew that he could be more than he was now. He could be the man again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. Clarissa put her hand to her heart and collapsed on the ground.
Blood pooled from her chest and Robert began to panic. He didn't mean to hurt her. He didn't even want to hurt her. His throat was so dry and his breathing was coming out in sporadic wheezes and gasps. He ran across the street without looking, trying desperately to fix his mistake. He was so close to her. He could almost touch her. Just as he was about to reach her; just as he was about to enter the gates of heaven, he saw a light and felt something pull him away. He screamed for Clarissa. He begged for her help, but she was gone. He had lost her. He had lost the only good thing in his life and now he could see and feel everything. He saw the bus that he hadn't noticed and he felt the pain, the pain of a broken heart, the pain of being crushed by a bus, and more than anything, he felt Clarissa's pain.
