the illusion we call love

Chapter 1

I think karma plays a giant role in your life. Whether it affects a minor or major part, it always comes around. Karma is the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences. Basically it rewards the good behavior and punishes the bad. Karma can be great, even fantastic if you're a good person. Everything had been excellent in my life before it happened. The universe and I were on the same page both in tune; I was an okay dude. I was happy. We were happy.

"Erik, wake up. You need to go to school. I let you miss school on Friday. You're not missing another day." a bright, blinding light fills my room.
"No," I groan and cover my head.
"You have to show your face at some point. Please. I made your favorite. Chocolate chip waffles."
"I really don't want to go." Groaning into my pillow.
"Honey, not showing your face is worse than showing your face. Now get up and take a shower. It will you feel better. You smell like death." My mom leaves closing the door behind her. I sit up feeling an excruciating pain everywhere. Every inch every fiber feels physical pain. Even worse is the emotional pain and reminder that I'm inflicted with.
The shower does make me feel better, and I almost feel up to going to school. Almost.
"Ah, there's my handsome boy. You look much better." My mom says setting down a monstrous pile of waffles on the table as I sit.
"Thanks." She watches me closely as I dig into the waffles. Her eyes dig into me like daggers. 
"Mom, stop."
"What?"
"Okay I'm out. Bye love you"
"Do u want me to drive you?" She asks grabbing her keys.
"I can drive myself."
"Okay. Be careful. I love you."
Once in my car I put on "Hey there Delilah" by the Plain white tees. I couldn't count all the times I sang this song to Delilah. I don't know exactly why I put myself through this agony. I don't have to listen to it. Everything is a constant reminder of her, of us. It's like being stab in an existent wound. The song reminds me of ll of our happy, perfect memories together. It reminds me of her cute laugh and her tiny hands, her warm smile.  Once I get to school another issue arises; my parking spot is right next to hers. Of course when we arranged it we didn't think we'd be over any time soon. Her black Audi is sitting there empty when I pull into my spot. Am I really going to go through with this? I can always drive back home and go to school another day. I really don't want pity stares from her friends. I, in no way, want to walk into first hour and see her talking to her friend Shelly. I pull my key out, grab my book sack, and start the walk across the parking lot. I walk past our group of friends sitting in our spot and into the library. I sit on the floor and wait for the bell to ring. I contemplate just staying here in the quiet library away from everyone and the pain I feel when I see her. Time stops when I walk into first hour and see her for the first time since we broke up. Of course, she looks beautiful as ever. With her golden hair cascading over her small frame. I numbly walk over to my seat and sit. Shelly gives me a pity look and whispers something to Delilah. She nods and Shelly glances over again; Delilah doesn't even condescend herself to look in my direction. My heart aches even worse.

At lunch she sits with Shelly not at our usual table. Relief washes over me. I buy lunch and sit next to Will. Will and I have been best bros since I moved to this stupid town in third grade. Some jerk off was teasing him because he was so short back then. I punched the kid in the face and yelled at Will for not standing up for himself. We've been best fiends since. Now Will's 6'7, the tallest guy in school. 

"Hey, dude. How are you holding up?" he says sipping his chocolate milk.

"I'm fine." I poke my mystery meat not meeting his eyes.

"You poor baby." Andrea, Will's girlfriend, squeezes my hand.

"Yeah, that sucks. Delilah is super hot. I can't believe you let that go." Andy says from across the table. He's the biggest asshole to walk the face of the earth. He pisses me off so bad I feel myself to shake. I'm about to explode. He walks around waiting for an excuse to start a fight.