Cope

I was beyond tired at this point. My mind was nothing but the hate of my own life, my own self. I mumbled useless words under my breath. I knew no one was going to stop me this time. I'm sure they'll be happy, probably rejoicing. The bullies had won the battle I had been fighting for so long. This time it wasn't my battle to fight, it was my battle to lose.

I picked up the bottle of pills and water to take them with. I took the first two, quickly swallowing them. I thought for a moment of stopping, but the voice in my head made me continue. I took pill after pill, losing count after a while. My mind was jumbled, confusing and hard to comprehend. I sat on the floor with my favorite teddy bear from my childhood.

One would think I would panic and call 911, but I felt a wave of relief as my consciousness started fading like credits in a movie. I clutched the bear tightly at my side as I laid down smiling at the darkness. The darkness took away the light of the afternoon and I let my muscles relax as the numbness took over my fragile mind set.

Brightness burned my eyelids and I felt excruciating pain in my head. There was a loud banging noise and the pain in my head got worse and worse. The bright got brighter, the noise louder. The pain kept getting worse, and I was screaming. Nothing came out of my mouth as I screamed in excruciating pain in my mind. It burned, everything burned. I had never wanted anything more than that darkness. Suddenly, the pain got to the most terrifying part, it felt like somebody had set me to flames and left me to burn. Just when I thought my head would explode, it stopped and darkness surrounded me again. Peace, calm, dark.

The first thing I saw when I awoke from the darkness was a desk and chair. My mind pondered on where I was. That's when I saw my best friend Lucy sitting at another desk crying. She was barely breathing, choking on her own air from sobbing. I got up rushing over to her to see what was wrong. "Luce what's wrong?!" I asked concerned. She didn't even look up, as if she couldn't even hear me. I repeated my sentence to see if maybe she just wasn't listening. Her head jerked up and she started saying she wasn't okay and that she wanted to die. It took me a moment to realize she wasn't talking to me, she was speaking to an adult. "She did it because of them. She left me because of them." Luce hissed. I tried to get her to see me, I screamed her name. She didn't even see me much less hear me.

Suddenly there was the noise, and the burning sensation again. I screamed loudly in pain. My whole world spun the floor caving in and then I was brought into the dark. I woke in what looked like a waiting room. There were dozens of people sitting in chairs and talking quietly amongst themselves. I sat in a chair next to a boy who looked to be close to my age. "Hi I'm Rob. You must be the new one huh?" Rob asked. I glanced at him confused at his question. The new one? Rob chuckled lightly at my confused look and just turned his gaze away from me. "Marta Leon?" A lady at a desk to my right asked. I slowly walked up to the desk looking at the annoyed woman. She looked to be in her late forties and had her black hair pulled in to a tight bun. "I'm Marta." I said quietly. She raised her eyebrows giving me a look that made me question my actions. "Yes, I know you are Marta. If you weren't Marta you wouldn't have come up to my desk." The woman spoke slightly annoyed. I looked down at the ground, feeling embarrassed at myself. "Tell me Marta, do you know why you are here?" She asked. My mind wandered to the subject. I didn't know where I was nor why I was here. "No Ma'am." I said stumped.

This was when she said the most crazy thing I had ever heard in my life; "You Marta Leon committed suicide on January 6th 2013. That means you have been moved to the waiting room to decide your fate. It seems we have decided where we are going to put you. It seems there is just enough for one room on the cope bus.". I didn't have a clue what she was talking about with the cope bus. "Why the bus station is over there, please go wait with the others for your bus to come. See you soon dear." The woman gestured to a bus station I hadn't seen until now. "Was that always there?" I asked confused. She shook her head no and pushed me along toward the station.

I sat and waited for the bus with a couple others whom didn't even try to talk to me. Some were crying on benches whilst others looked totally confused. It took only a little while for this bus to come and those who cried, cried harder. The bus was big, black and amazingly scary.

"All aboard!" A middle aged man called out. I took my spot on the bus which was labeled 'Marta Leon' and looked around me. The seats were cold and uncomfortable, the bus dark. "Please stay in your seats for the whole ride. Do not eat or drink on the bus; not like you can anyway cause you're dead after all. Other than that, enjoy the ride to your first destination." He gave the cue to the driver to start the bus to leave. With that, the bus was off at an insane pace, and I was off to what seemed to be the answer to this mystery; what is the cope bus for?

So this is chapter one of my new story Cope. So comment vote and enjoy the not so lively life of Marta Leon.