See Tha way My Heart is Set Upp ; I CAN'T TRUST A SOUL . I den got hurt && betrayed so many times , I feel as If I can't even havee A conversation w. somee Mufuckass . Thatss Some Real Trust Issues Riteeeee ? Youu will never understand Mee , until Youu Know My Story !!!
(( Myy Namee is JazMinee , but EverBody Call mee Jaz . Imm 17 qoinqq Onn 70 . Lol ' That meann imm too Damnn Grownn . Imma chill ass Personn , && shit ! I juss Likee to kick it && fuck whidd my Crew. If Youu ain't inn my Crew ; Fuck Youu ! ))
See That's Thee Mentality && mind Set that Got mee Upp Fuckedd up Thoo . I wass Too Chill ; I wass Too laid Back ; I was Makinqq Too many New Friendss . But I didn't realize that shit until Everythinqq went downhill in my Lifee ! Thatss somee Sadd Shit Bro '
It wass Thaa Summer of 2013 , && I was ready For it , Well at Least I thought I was . I lived wit my mom in ATL . She was a sinqle Parent , Who worked so Hardd to get me Everythinqq i wanted . I Løvee her Soo muchh man . I was the only child . I never understood why my Dad wasn't there . I never asked , so my Mom neverr brought it up . I ain't really worried bout A Niqqa who ain't Nevaa Been there for mee .
For the summer , I was qoinqq to Cali To stay with my Aunt . I neverr been there before , so I was super excited . My summer Was just beginning .
Mom: "Jazzzzz ! You almost done Packing ? You have to leave for Your flight in 30 minutes , and I have to be at work in 40 . Hurry !!!"
That was the thing about my Mom . Sometimes she was so focused on work , she Wouldn't even say hey to me , or she wouldn't even notice if I was in or out the house. At the most , I would only talk to my mom about 4 times per week . Once You have had Lotsss of Alone Nights sleeping by Yourself , You get used to it .
Me: " I'm ready Mom . I'm gonna miss You for these couple Weeks . "
Mom: I'm gonna miss Youu too Baby . I hope You have fun . Call me or text me everyDay && everynight . Love Youu ! ❤❤"
Me: love You too. ! "❤
As I took my 4 hour Plane ride , I thought about alot . I thought about new people and new things I would encounter while I was out in Cali . My Aunt told me it was so much to do , so I couldn't wait . I fell asleep , woke up , ate , sent a few text messages , and watched tv while I was on the plane. I was ready to just get off , take a hot bubble bath , and Get some rest .
The flight attendant announced that we where about to land . I was relieved , because I was so happy to be getting of that plane. As I stepped of the plane , I put on my Shades , picked up my purse , && went to get my luggage . As soon as I got my luggage , I saw my Aunt Lisa Waving at me. I was so excited to see her . She was like An older me. She was only 25 . On our way to her house , we talked and caught up on a lot of things. She was koo as hell Thoo . When I got to the house , she told me to put my bags down in the room because she was about to take me out. We were going to get our nails done , go out to eat , and do some shopping .
After we had got our nails done , we went to the mall . The boys in Cali weree A1 Thoo . I meann they was looking Ritee . 😍 Youu Evaa seen A body Look so Good ? GodZamidddd ! Lbss ((Yeaa it wass Thadd serious)) When we walked in the mall , Aunt Lisa went to somewhere , and I went into footLocker. I had to do my Roundd ! I was looking for me Some Grapess in my size , && when I got up , I made a mistake and bumped into This tall lightskinnedd Tall Glass of Water. Lolss 😂
Him: My fault Shorty !
Me: shit, I got a Namee , but Youu StrAiqht .
Him: well , can I get that name off Youu ?
Me: I'm Jazz . && Youu ?
Him: I'm Shawn .
Me : okay . Okay . Nice Namee !
Shawn:*lauqhss* Youu too . Well Whoo you up here wit ?
Me: wit my Aunt ' Youu by Yoself ?
Shawn : naw I'm wit my Boys . You gotta number ?
Me: Yeaa.
Shawn : Lol Youu gonna give it to me ?
Me : Suree *writes number on Arm*
Shawn: iitee shorty. Imma hit Youu up .
Me: okay .
As I walked aroundd the store , I couldn't really stop thinking about Shawn . He was lightskinnedd , extremely Tall , He had a lot of hair , dimples , && he had a lil flee in EM . Goddddd . I wanted EM so bad , but I knew I couldn't get too attached ; because when you do , the betrayal begins . 👌
It wass About 7:30 , && I was getting kinda tired so I went to find aunt Lisa . I didn't really know much about that mall , so I kept getting lost && shit . As I was looking for aunt Lisa , my eyes got glued to a true religion store , & I just had to go in . As soon as I went in I saw Aunt Lisa .
There you Go Auntee !
Girl I was looking for you . Where was you at ?
I was looking for you ! my time was kinda occupied at the moment ! I laughed
By what? ; Nawwww ! By who?
I was blushing hard . "His name is Shawn ,Auntee he so Cutee . Mann "
Auntee Lisa ain' t look so happy bout the whole situation.
You sure you can trust somebody after what happened wit Lucas ?
Aw yea ! I forgot to tell y'all about Lucas . Well Lucas was my previous boyfriend . Shit . I thought we had it made . Until one day this Niqqa set me up ,damn near got me killed ! Lucas was a drug dealer , ; I used to trap wit EM ! Shit we was unstoppable , until I started trusting too many Niqqas && bitches in the game ! After I gave Lucas my virginity , my heart , && my mind ; he took it all for granted . Every Day that Niqqa was beating my ass . He got me gang raped , shot up , jumped , && some other spiteful ass shit . Over time , enough was enough , and I had to fight for my life up out that relationship . This was like last year Thoo. Cray Cray as hell Ritee ! . Every since , I ain't been the same girl . I can't trust nobody !
"Auntee ... I'm not tryna be on that wit him . Plus , I ont eenn know EM like that . We just exchanged numbers , && we might kick it a couple times while I'm down here . Nun serious Thoo ! "
"Alritee Jazz ! You know I'm here if I need you Thoo ! "
"Fo shoo Auntee : I know Youu Got my Back ! "
As we Drove home , I dozed off in the car because I was completely exhausted . When we pulled up at the house , aunt Lisa woke me up , and I went In the house && tried to unpack some things .
"Youu Good Jazz ?"
"Yeah I'm Qood Auntee . I'm just finna take a bath , && call my Momma && let her know everything went good the first day . "
"Okay Boo ; see you in the morning . Love Youu "
"Love you too Auntee"❤❤
As I soaked in the hot bubble bath , I had some Music Playinqq in the background , && I was just thinking . I was thinking about everything Lucas put me through , && I was jus looking at some of the bruises I still had on my legs . A couple tears ran down my face , but I knew I had to be strong . As I had my eyes closed , I was interrupted by my phone ringing . I ain't recognize that number , so I didn't answer . I got out the tub , put on a big tee shirt , && wrapped my hair . I grabbed my phone , && layed across the bed . It felt so good to be finally laying down . I closed my eyes , && my phone rang again . I finally answered .
"Hello !"
"Wassup shorty !"
It wass Shawnnn ! :0
