When Tomomi sluggishly moved to answer that door, she wasn't expecting to find Mami standing on the other side with her large grey pajamas on. Her eyes opened wide, as her friend stared down at her and smiled sweetly, a very small and discreet smile.
- What are you doing here, Mami? I thought you were sleeping already. - she asked in a very weak voice, holding on the door. She still wasn't sure if Mami wanted to come in, or even if she wanted Mami to come in.
- Can't sleep, really. - the guitarist said softly, staring into her eyes. Tomomi felt a bit uncomfortable with that. - Can I come in for a bit?
- ... Of course.
A bit reluctantly, Tomomi stepped aside and let the blonde walk inside her hotel room. She quietly closed the door afterwards, not sure what to expect from Mami's late night visit.
Truth is, she didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She wasn't feeling well, and the talk she had with Rina earlier already drained her emotionally. Tomomi felt better in many ways after talking to the drummer, but it was still mentally exhausting.
Lately Tomomi had been feeling like everything was out of place. It started as just a nagging feeling that she would carry around as the band continued on with their activities, and suddenly she realized it had grown into a full blown block inside of her head. She felt empty, and she felt numb. Tomomi couldn't write lyrics, she couldn't think of emotions that weren't that unwanted numbness or melancholy, she couldn't bring her brain to do the things she so desperately needed to do in order to feel normal once again. It pushed her onto a blurry and unclear place that she couldn't quite describe; all she knew was that she wasn't functioning normally for a while now. She wasn't smiling as often, she wasn't talking as often, she wasn't creating as often.
When she went to Rina for help, the drummer showed relief. Rina had been noticing that change within her, and even though Tomomi felt better now after opening up to her, there was still quite a bit of that numbness left lingering.
She didn't want Mami to notice. She didn't want the guitarist who worked so hard on everything all the time to realize she had no motivation in her heart at the moment. Tomomi didn't want to see disappointment in her friend's eyes, not directed at her.
- So, what's wrong that you can't sleep? - she asked first, afraid of the silence that was starting to develop between them. When she pulled her robe tighter around herself and looked over at Mami, she saw her sighing. - Are you sick again?
- No, not this time. You don't have to worry about me, I'm ok.
- Hm...
- It's about you that I'm worried, Timo. - the bassist looked in her eyes immediately after that, and found Mami's all-knowing gaze directed at her - I saw you going to Rina earlier. You looked like a mess.
- Oh... I-I'm alright now, Mami. We were talking, I'm fine.
- You'll have to forgive me for not believing that for a second. - Mami said calmly, then put her hands into her pockets and watched as Tomomi's eyes widened - I can see Rina probably helped you, but you're not "fine".
- Seriously, I'm ok.
Mami moved towards her, and she took several steps back until the back of her knees touched the bed. That caused a reaction in Mami that made Tomomi's heart sting with guilt. The slight pain only passed the guitarist's eyes for a second, but the way she stopped moving and retreated one step, seeming to become smaller, struck Tomomi like a heavy blow.
YOU ARE READING
During a storm
Fanfiction[SCANDAL oneshot - ToMami] Mami had always been one to make her feel safe.