I crack my eyes open as the sun peaks through my blinds. I roll over and look at the clock, it's 8:18 am I have class in an hour. I fully open my eyes only to see my roommate creeping her way over to me. "You know I can see you right?" She runs back to the living room giggling. I get out of bed, slip into my panda slippers, and make my way to the living room. "We'll you look like you had a bad dream. What's wrong you look sad? Tell Sashabear what's wrong." She says running up and hugging me. "Nothings wrong," I say wrapping one arm around her, "I'm just a little tired is all." "Want some coffee?" she says making her way to the kitchen. "Yeah coffee would be nice." I say plopping myself on the couch. I reach for my laptop and look at my new scheldule. I love all things science, from weather, to astronomy. When I graduate I want to become a professional meteorologist. My mom all ways told me to never give up and don't stop working until I reach my goal. But I lost all control when she died. It was the most tragic death in my entire life. And somehow I still feel it's my fault. We were driving over a bridge on our way to my dad's job. I was 14 years old at the time. I was playing around with my mom, tickling her and telling jokes. "Nicole cut it out I'm driving." She said with tears in her eyes. I went in for one last tickle when an 18 wheeler smashed into the side of the car. Our car flipped over into the ocean. I pushed on the seat belt buckle as the water began to rise up. I looked over at my mom only to see her sitting there lifeless. I stared at her in awe and continued to push on the buckle. The buckle finally let up and I was able to get out of the car. I swam to the surface with tears in my eyes, "God why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why did you take her from me?" All of these questions filled my mind as I tried to stay above water. Moments later a chopper with the words "Coast Guard" appeared and lifted me up. I looked down to get a glimpse of my mom before I was taken away, but the car had already submerged below the ocean floor. As I boarded the chopper I grabbed onto the man pulling me up and began to cry. He told me that I was ok and that I was going to make it, but that didn't matter. At the moment I didn't feel that I was going to make it, not like this. Now I'm stuck motherless with an abusive father whose on medication. My family to this day blames me for my mother's death, and I have no choice but to agree. If I would have stopped playing she'd be here today. If I could turn back time I would change everything. I close my laptop with little tears and my eyes and begin to weep. Sasha runs in and wraps her arms around me. "You can't keep blaming yourself." She said squeezing me tighter. "You have to let go of all that anger at some point." But how can you let go of something that attached to you for the rest of your life. I dry my tears and wrap my arms around her. "I'm ok now Sasha, I'm fine." She let's go of me and smiles, "Let's go eat some breakfast and get ready for class."
