N&N

Heading Home

Niall is dragging me on the U.S. part of the tour with him this week because we have been in Ireland for the past year. I didn't want to come but I quickly changed my mind when he said they would be in the U.S. for the next year. He said he feels like I need to visit home anyway because I've been so down lately, but honestly I think its because I have to go back there. I love Ireland, its so full of live and happy people, it gave me a fresh start with the man I love. We live a few blocks away from his parents house and Greg lives about 20 minutes drive, so we where always surrounded by love and support. They accepted us for us and didn't gag if we held hands or kissed around them. They were way different from my "family", my father hates what I am and tells me whenever he gets the chance too. My mom is pretty understanding now because she can't do anything about it, she always had a feeling I was gay but as a child she tried to influence me otherwise. Most of my "friends" stopped talking to me after highschool graduation because they didn't give a shit about me, but once the public found out about Niall and I my social media's blew up, I had tons of those people trying to talk to me again but I knew they just wanted to use me. Niall doesn't allow me on twitter, facebook, tumblr, and basically everything else anymore. Im allowed on instagram though what kind of fucking sense does that make?! I want on other social media's but Niall says there is too much drama for me to handle and honestly he's right, I'd probably break if I saw all the nasty things people had to say. Anyways what was I thinking about... Oh yeah going home. We won't be staying with my family for long because Niall has a place in L.A. but he wants me to have some time with my family, so I agreed on a month. I'll have to deal with that later but we are on the plane right now and I'm so fucking worried about my equipment. Not all of it was going to fit in my carry on but I managed to get my two vlogging cameras in there, so hopefully the rest isn't broken. You might be asking yourself why we aren't with the other lads in the jet and that's because Niall wanted to stay two extra days at home to say his goodbyes and I wasn't going to complain. The only bad thing is we can't watch are things and my anxiety is through the roof right now. Deep breathes Blake, ughh. I'm so hungry that I will jump out of this plane for a real meal. Im not eating the food they have on here because its disgusting and its bad for you.
Anyway..... what the hell am I going do to entertain myself for the next few hours?