"No!" I shout.
I struggle against the hands restraining me. I bite down viciously on his hand, and yelling he releases his grip. I kick out with my left foot and my other capture lets go. I run forwards but already four other guards are standing by to hold me back.
I watch helplessly as he is pulled further and further away from me. Two guards drag him away from me, their hands clenched tightly around his arms. All the other guards leave, including the two holding me.
But it’s too late. My ear splitting screams echo around the empty street.
Then it hits me.
He's gone.
I collapse on the floor, all hope gone. Sobbing violently I whisper mutterings that wouldn't make sense to anyone listening. I rock back and forth, with tears on my face until the moon has left and the only star in the sky is the midday sun.
A hand on my shoulder startles me into reality. I turn slightly, "Mother," I greet.
"Alexia, I'm sorry. We hadn't a choice." She says forlornly.
I snap back "Oh, you made your choice. How could you? It's certain death if he goes out there!"
Mother lets her hand drop. "Who else would have gone?" she yells, pretence of calm gone.
"Anyone but Seth! Send me!"
"You know very well we would never send you! You'd never make it back!" she defends.
"Neither will he, Mom." I say quietly, all fight gone. It's too late. And she'll never admit she's wrong. So why bother?
***
I sit at the breakfast table stirring my cereal around my bowl. I sprinkle sugar then stir it some more.
"Are you going to eat that?" My older brother asks.
I shrug. Not likely, to be honest. I stir the cereal again. I have three brothers. Kieran is the eldest and he's away from home. Always is, nowadays. He goes with father on his business trips. Extended business trips.
Jake is the brother sitting across from me. "Lex, I wanted to go instead. I would have, if they would have let me.
I nod. "I know. I would have to."
Jake gets angry "You’re never going, never! Don't ever say that Lex, you know you mean the world to me." Then his voice softens to a whisper "It won't happen, not..." he trails off and shudders.
I get up from the table and grab my coat. I don't tell anyone where I'm going. If I tell them they'll disapprove.
I walk up the familiar dirt path and through the large gates. The church stands in the centre of the large plot of land. I don't head for the church though. I take a sharp turn down a path between rows of graves until I find the one I want.
Sophia Bloom.
I run my fingers along the top. "It was for nothing Sophie." I call her by the nickname I always did. "You died for him and no one cares. It was all for nothing. Nothing." I whisper that one word as the tears trickle down my face.
***
I don't wake to the howling of the wind but a roaring fire. I sit up quickly and try to work out where I am. I suddenly hear my brothers voice "You’re in the church. I told mom you wouldn't be back, you’re not in trouble."
