Wide awake 'Drarry'

I'm in the dark

The ceiling was a dull sight at this time of night. Darkness clouded the space surrounding me, leaving me laying stationary in the clasps of my own thoughts.

Sighing I rolled over onto my stomach shoved my face in the pillow. Mumbling curse words that came out muffled from my face being in the pillow.

Saint potter has been haunting,lingering in the darkness of my mind. His face appearing ,popping up in my brain. Flashes of his smile,face,his everything.

His award winning smile. The kindness,modesty he shows for others. Thoughts raced through my mind. All leading to potter. I can't get him out of my head.

Feelings of jealousy,protectiveness. The want ,lust,images appear of him bear chested flashes through my mind. Sleep deprived. Every time I want,went to sleep dreams of a future popped up. But the thing is the futures with harry.

I could barely stand in the presence of Ginny knowing she likes harry. I don't know why but jealousy pierces through me when she flirts with him in front of me. I could barely even think of his name without images flashing through my mind.

Feeling sick every time she kisses his check. The way he blushes his face turning as red as a tomato. His laugh is like music to my ears. I sometimes think muggles that his laugh was the jingle bells they hear THINKING it's Santa.

It confuses me as to why I'm thinking this. I'm finally going insane. Does he have a eight or six pack. Mhh do they taste good. WAIT WHAT.

"Snap out of it Malfoy your a pure blood don't think like that". I mutter bitterly. Pure-blood. That term that my father would never dare let me disgrace. And by crushing on Potter the way I am, I'm doing more then disgracing it. I'm pounding it into the dirt with a sledge hammer, burning it to the ground, and dancing on the ashes.

But you know what? My father was sentenced to life in Azakaban, so he already did the job of disgracing the Malfoy name. Who would care if he happened to have a gay son?

Wait... gay?

Ha! My thoughts got away from me a bit there. I'm not gay.
Potter-sexual maybe, but not gay.

What the he'll am I thinking right now? I'm not into blokes, nor Harry Golden Boy Potter for that matter. I'm insane, truely. It must be the lack of sleep. Why else would I be thinking these types of thoughts?

Harry always makes me feel something. Something deep in side. It always makes me laugh when he messes up on a potion. His confused face.

But then Ginny comes kissing his cheek saying 'It's alright harry'.
"Draco come down in eat". My mother snapped. She's embarrassed but it's her fault for also siding with voldmort. "Yes mom ". I yell back sighing. Tomorrow I'm going back to Hogwarts. Back to harry. Ugh and Ginny.

Ginny and harry don't belong together. Ginny is far to young, and Harry far to... what's the right word... Hero-y? He litteraly saved the entire wizarding world, and what did Ginny do? Get kidnapped second year, and put Harry in horrible danger.

So much danger that I actually sent Dobby to keep him off Hogwarts ground the moment I over heard what my father had in store for him.

That's right, these feelings happened a really long time ago. They surfaced in first year- when I offered my hand to the bloody idiot and he spoke to me in a way that a Malfoy has probably never heard before that day. I was obsessed. If he didn't want to be my friend, then how else would I get his attention?

I guess that's when the hole "Potter-Malfoy-Mortal-Enemies" thing got started. But in my defense, I didn't know what these feelings were then. All I knew is I felt something vivid and over powering, so I assumed it was hatred. Back then- the prideful git I was, It never even crossed my mind that I might have had a crush on the raven haired, green eyed boy.

All I cared about was making my father prideful if me. I wanted to feel wanted. All my life it was about my crazy aunt. They never spared me a second glass. That's why I joined Voldywart.

Plus I thought it would help me forget him. But knowing the luck i got it didn't do anything other than make me want him more.

"You, Draco Malfoy, have gone mad.", I stated into the nothingness that filled my room. I wish somebody was here to keep me company. To forget him for a day. But.. My mother is to embarrassed to go out the house to do anything with me.

Sometimes I wander if she would miss me if I died today. To be in the stars. To be free. I want somebody to make me laugh.

Somebody to protect me. To hold me when I need it the most. I want to feel safe. To know that somebody loves me. I built walls, and I built them pretty thick and unthinkable high. But every time I thought about potter in a.. more then friendly way, they'd crack. Every time I seen him with Weaselette they'd fight not to crumble. There's only so much I could take before they'd collapse right on top of me, leaving me to drown in my emotions, and suffocate on the truth.

Yeah.. I was always a positive thinker.

Lollipops of death. Rainbows of night. Death of thousands. Sprinkles of Heartbreak. Flower of hearts.

I sighed getting up and walking down to the kitchen where my flustered mother waited putting the plain plates on the long polished table. "Next time hurry up Draco!". She said bitterly. I rolled my grey eyes and sat on the uncomfortable wooden chairs.

I grimaced as I saw my mom's wretched oat meal on the table. I slowly picked up the silver spoon and rolled it around in my food not eating but thinking of......ya you guessed Harry Golden Boy Potter.

What's gonna happen in my future? Who is in my future? Please God if your out there please don't let it be Pug face Pansy.

"Draco!". Mother snapped annoyed. Rolling my eyes I stood up leaving. Be ready Hogwarts , Draco Malfoy is coming back.

Smirking at the thought I ran up stairs to get packing. This day just got a whole lot better.