Stain Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears (boyxboy)

1

*Vic's POV*

"FIX IT FUCKING FIX IT! I NEED TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW I DON'T THINK YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND! IF I'M LATE I GET FUCKING FIRED! DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?! GIVE ME A FUCKING ALARM CLOCK!" My mom screams at me. I knew today was too good of a day for it to continue being a good day. I knew something would happen. I try to fix my mom's charger, I don't know how to fix electronics. How am I any help? I tell her my charger doesn't work very often but I give it to her in hopes it will work. I didn't. I get yelled at. I've been being yelled at all week. It was finally a good fucking day and I come home to me being yelled at.

Yes, mom, I understand I somehow did this. I know it's something I should be able to fix even if I have no idea about chargers. Yes, mom, I understand we don't have water. Yes, I know what condition our house is and your mom wants us to move to pay rent. Yes, I understand we don't have money as it is and if we payed rent and had city water we would never have money. Yes, I understand this is my fault some how. Yes, I know I shouldn't have been born. Yes, I know my dad was someone to party with. You guys got, in dad's case drunk in your case high, and I was an accident. You tell me all the time. Yes, I know I almost died because you were higher than fuck and my dad was passed out and I walked out the door and only a dog kept me from being ran over, you told me.

Even through all that, nothing has changed. You still get higher than the sky every night. My dad is always passed out drunk or nearly there telling me how worthless I am. Please understand, I know.

I really thank God we don't have school tomorrow. I wouldn't have been able to do it, I would have cried, like I am now. I would have been shaking uncontrollably, like I am now. I would have wanted to do something that I haven't in a long time, like now. Something harmful.

I'm really proud I haven't done that in a long time. I haven't been keeping track like many people, but I know I haven't done it. Now I just absent-mindedly trace the pale scars on my arms.

I head to the living room, after giving my mom my alarm clock, and watch Rugrats and cry. Seems like a solid life. I kind of wish my friends didn't have school tomorrow because they are all asleep now and I can't really hold a thought provoking conversation with the friends I have at my school. We may be friends, but they don't even know me.

Yeah, sounds like every teen movie or book ever. I highly doubt my friends know my I cut, or I did. I don't think they know about my near constant thoughts of suicide, hell, even the one I tell everything to doesn't know that. And the thing they don't know the most is, my liking for Jaime.

~~hello. New book. Hope y'all like it. Didn't have a good week sorry this note is shit. I did have a good day until I got yelled the fuck at when I got home for the same reason Victor did. Fuuuuuuuck. Stay punk~~