I'm Not The Sun

insane...maybe

Murderous intentions. Psychopathic tendencies. The very definition of insanity is performing an act over and over and over again and expecting different results each time. I've been in this cage 187 days. Two meals, a snack on the occassion, and murky lukewarm water. I fought them at first and I protested like crazy. I broke a guards arm and put another one in a leg cast. It was their own fault for getting in my way. It's like they assumed a person who got put in a confinement center wouldn't be able to hurt them. There's a reason I'm here. After a while I got used to being in this place. I accepted the fact that I had about as much hope of escaping as a snowball did in hell. I developed a routine in my fourth week here and evolved my lifestyle around it. I had no choice really. Besides I would rather live in here like a human than spend my days melting into the ground as my brain malfunctioned and my bones corrupted.

I suppose you want know why I'm in a confinement center, which is basically an insane asylum with a prettier name. How lucky am I? Anyway, I murdered someone. Well, sorta anyway. The rest I left on the brink of death. I don't like blood on my hands. Let's get that fact straight. All I did was speak and back them into inevitable corners. My first victim committed suicide, I didn't mean for that to happen. Honest. A few were guinea pigs and then I got the hang of it. I controlled them and then left them to die.

After about a year I got caught, they were able to dial the police before I got to them. The police came and I couldn't run fast enough. They took me into custody and questioned me. Being that I never actually killed anyone they couldn't exactly kill me either, so the one-sided compromise was that I come to this place. It's like a jail just weirder honestly.

In my first week my brother visited me. You could almost see the disappointment and sadness in his face. He didn't say much other than asking how I was and that my mother is too ashamed of me to come. She basically disowned me. I'm not sad she did that, but I'm not really happy either. We were never that close and half the time I hated her, but she did put a roof over my head and raise me so I can't entirely hate her. My brother, on the other hand, was someone I could usually rely and trusted to an extent. We were friends. I'm not entirely sure what we are now honestly. I guess he doesn't completely hate me since he at least came to visit if only once.

I suddenly hear a familiar tune as I watch a person walk past my cell. It's another prisoner, I've met her once and each time I've seen her she hums a tune. It's always the same one too. It's creepy in a sense but at the same time it's almost comforting. She flashes me a small smile while walking past and I smile back at her. I wonder where she's going...

I lean back against my cell wall and stare out the little window. I find it fascinating how the world out there is ever changing while my world is ever the same. I want to listen to music, I call one of the nurses over and ask if she can play a radio or something. She said no. I didn't expect much from her anyway. She looked like a typical rule abiding nurse. There's only ever been one person here who would listen to my requests except she changed her shifts and works here not as often as before. Her name was Ms. Powet, she was a short middle aged lady that had a smile that seemed centuries old and the heart of a toddler's. Ms. Powet worked here for ten years so I suppose it's about time she changed her lifestyle. Sometimes she would slip me some extra food after hours. I loved her for it.

Two hours until lights out. I usually try to fall asleep an hour before because I hate the idea of the dark. It's not that I'm afraid of it, I just hate. Anything can happen in the dark wether your in a cage or not. My mind runs wild and a billion things begin to fly through my head, whispers speak into my ears. That's the part that scares me.

The bell for dinner rings. It's a little chime going off in the corner of my cage. I stand as a guard let's me out of my cell and walks with me to the dinner hall. The place is a series of small tables laid out into a delicate pattern. At this time all the pyschopathic freaks gather together in linfe for for food. The food here reminds me of the food I had to eat in school. Has the potential to taste good, but fails to actually be good. I get my food and sit at one of the corner tables. Not long after I start eating a nurse comes by and asks if I would like to sit with the other people. I could see her wanting and expecting me to say yes but I simply shook my head no. I may be in a confinement center just like the rest of them but that doesn't mean I want to be one of them.

Once I finish my food I quickly get up and ask a guard to take me back to my cage. As soon as I get there I lay on my bed and take a chance at sleep. It doesn't take much time before my head begins clearing and darkness wraps its arms around me once more. I wonder what tomorrow will bring, part of me doesn't even want to know.