Repercussions

Okay so what I'm gonna do is close my eyes, pick up this book called "Looking for Alaska" and whatever the first word I point is, no matter how mundane, I'll write about it. Okay? Cool.
The word is...
Thought
...............................................................................................................................................

What did they think about? Was it the way the confining doors locked behind them, how separated they were in these small rooms, these little boxes, or the repetitive silence that ensued each day? "Why", I mumbled, "did they never listen?"

"Think", she'd tell me, "think"

So I did.
And where exactly did that get me you ask?
Well here of course. The pathetic rooms, with the constant, dull silence. With the people that didn't listen - that didn't think.

"Think", she'd tell me, "think"

So I did.
I thought and I thought and I thought and I thought and I ought to know why she'd decided to do it. She'd had to do it. It wasn't my fault they said, they didn't think so.
I had to listen then because there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. But here it's different. I can run. Inside my mind, inside my head, run away from what she said.
I am running and sprinting and my legs are burning. I can't catch my breath and they're rushing to help a hopeless case. I'm pushing my feet forward, under oxidised and over energised but I'm still sitting here, in silence. They're holding something. It's flashing up a climbing number.
148     159     178
They're trying to catch me, to stop me. But they're too slow.
195     217     243
I can see her now. I'm picking up pace and the numbers jumping up.
262     291     310
I am seeing her now. Why is she there? How is she there? Please let her be there.
Finally I'm realising.
I'm slowing and the number is falling.
302     281     257
They're cheering and smiling because they aren't realising. Not like me.
I'm stopping and falling because she'll catch me. I know she'll catch me.
252     245     234
The ground is falling and I am falling but she's not here.
251     267     270
I couldn't ever stop thinking but now I can. The thoughts fall away quicker than my body.
298     315     342
Suddenly, the flashing is stopping and the only sound to be heard is a low hum but none of it matters because all I can think is one, awful thought.

Why weren't you there, kid?