Things I Could Never Tell You

4, 5, 6

Text #4.

January 3, 7:36 pm.

Today Soph dragged me over to the mall. We bought a couple of stuff and it was ok, I guess. It was kind of weird because the salesman looked a lot like you actually. He had the same brown hair, the same eyes and the same smile. But he isn't you, and the situation is different. I also saw the same hoodie that you used to wear whenever you came to hang out in my house. After eating something in McDonald's, Soph bought us some tickets to the movie. I just forced a smile and thanked her because lately she has been the best friend ever by trying to cheer me up. This was your job. You were supposed to be doing that. But you aren't. I miss you so badly. 

Text #5.

January 4, 12:39 am.

It's midnight and I'm just plain nervous and anxious. Remember when we were twelve and I had that anxiety attack and then you saw me and came running towards me and in two minutes I was already better? Yeah, well, they are slowly coming back, Ty. When I was around you, they rarely happened. But once you were gone, the feelings of apprehension and dread came back once more. And so did the restlessness, the irritability and the trouble in concentrating. I need you. But I guess some words are just better left unsaid. I'll see you in a couple of hours when school starts. You'll probably be with her. I know it will hurt, but to hell with it, I guess.

Text #6.

January 5, 5:40 pm.

I saw you today. I didn't want to, but unfortunately, I did. Your hair was still in that same windswept way and I almost got lost in your eyes. You looked different, but somehow, the same. Your dimples still appeared in your cheeks when you smiled . My legs turned into jelly and I just stood there. You were with her. The emotions were still raw even after all this time. All of the memories suddenly came crashing down. I almost broke down right there. I guess you're my familiar stranger. We made eye contact through the class and I swear to God I couldn't breathe. I hope you felt what I felt too.