Be Nice To Me

You aren't

Dear diary,
today was a happy, happy day.
I seem to have a lot of those now.
With Louis.
When I'm with Louis I have lots of happy days.

Today is Friday diary, Zayn and his friends weren't at school today. Probably smoking somewhere but I don't care.

Louis was happy they weren't at school today, he said when they're gone I'm happy. And when I'm happy he's happy. He has yet to realize I'm always happy when I'm with him.

Oh. Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis.

I went to Lou's house after school today. I learned he has four sisters, all whom are younger than him. They said they liked my flower crown and that it was pretty.

They're all very pretty girls. Not as pretty as Louis, but pretty.

I went into Louis' room.
I, Harry Styles, went into Louis Tomlinson's room.
He had lots of band and footie player posters in his room, and his bedroom smelt like him. It may be weird but if I were to be trapped in any room for forever I would hope it was Lou's bedroom.

After chatting for a bit and of course cuddling, we went for a walk. Louis laced our fingers together and held my hand. His hand fit perfectly into mine. Lou was so warm. And pretty. Just touching his hand made me glow with warmth.

We went to a nearby park. In that moment, I forgot about the scars on my wrist and took off my jacket. I forgot I needed my jacket to cover my scars. But I was so warm from being near Louis. I should have thought more. I should think more. Or maybe less.

When Louis saw my scars, instead of letting me pull my jacket back on, he pulled my hand towards a bench and sat down.
He rolled my sleeves up all the way and studied my wrist. Louis' fingers were gentle and soft when he touched my skin. His touch was so welcoming I didn't flinch when his fingers made contact with my scars. My ugly, swollen and red scars.

I wasn't paying much attention until I felt my scars sting painfully.

And when I looked down at him, I saw salty tears running down Louis' cheekbones.
His beautifully carved cheekbones. His cheekbones were running wet with tears, because of me.

The last of Louis' tears dripped onto my scars before he lifted his head to meet my eyes. His ocean blue eyes were sparkling. He looked pretty. He looked perfect. So perfect.

He told me,
'Please, Hazza. Please, please, please. Never harm yourself again. Don't hurt yourself like this.
Fuck, curly...can't you see how fucking beautiful you are? You're beautiful, God damn it! How can you not see that?'

His voice rose when he said that and I suppose Louis could see me flinch because he cupped my face and continued in a much more gentle tone.

'I'll admit it...I'm completely and totally infatuated with you, Harry. And when I see you in pain...any type of pain, physically, emotionally, anything, it brings pain to me.
Every scar you cut, cuts me deeper. Because I couldn't do anything to stop you in hurting yourself.
Knowing that I should have been able to prevent these-'

He gestured to my scars.

'but didn't kills me. Next time you want to cut, imagine cutting me. With every new scar you create, know that you're creating a scar for me as well. Because that's what happens.'

I began crying, ugly tears rolled down my cheeks and Louis pulled me into his arms and embraced me. I wish I could have stayed in Louis' arms forever. They were my favourite place. And always would be. They made me feel safe. Protected. Wanted.

After a few moment's Louis pulled away and took my cheeks in his hands.

'Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry...you're a princess. A beautiful, lovely princess which whom no other can compare to. Even if you don't see it, you are beautiful. Intelligent. Gorgeous. Kind. Sweet. Perfect. But Harry, there's one thing you aren't..'

At this point my heart was racing. Just hearing him speak my name made me realize how badly I had fallen for him. But what wasn't I? Not good enough for him? Of course I wasn't, how delusional am I to think I was good enough for him.

'Harry, the one thing you aren't is...mine. And I want to change that. Will you be my boyfriend?'

Louis continued, and I swear to god I couldn't breathe.
I felt as though I actually could not breath. I was at a loss for air and words, so I simply nodded my head furiously. He chuckled at this and our faces bent closer for our lips to meet.

But our noses bumped together instead.

'Oops.' I giggled.
'Hi' He smiled.

It wasn't the first time we said such words. They seem to fit us.

Wrapping his hands around my waist, Louis pulled my chest to his and this time, without any incident, our lips met.

It seemed like every time we kissed, it only became better. Sparks flew dangerously inside of me.
Louis Tomlinson. The Louis Tomlinson, was kissing me. Of all people, this pretty human being was kissing my lips.

Even if Louis' lips were poison, I'd kiss them like they were the cure.

Diary, today may have been the best day of my life.

-Harry xx