Please Stay Forever With Me

Chapter 1

I woke up with a grunt. Its too early for this. I don't feel like waking up. The thought of staying home crossed my mind but I quickly pushed it away.  I inspected the damage on my body from last night. Stupidly, I poked at the newly made bruises. They hurt a lot, not sure what hurt more. The physical or emotional pain.....

With a sigh, I sit up on the side of my bed and look around my room.

"Well you're up early." 

I quickly turn around, scared of who the intruder might be. With a smile, I gently push him off the end of my bed. "You fucker!!!," I grin. " When did you come in? I didn't hear you." He smirked. "When I heard you wake up." His smirk disappeared and was substituted with a serious and sad look. "You should really lock your door, you know."

I look down. He's right. There's no way I can know what my father is capable of... 

"Well, let me get changed. You should to. We're gonna be late to school," I say as I walk to my dresser, looking for my brush. My hair has so many tangles. How the fuck does this even happen?  My thoughts were interrupted when I felt his arms around waist. God... he's so damn perfect.

"You know what day it is?" he says, putting his chin on my shoulder. "Haha. Of course you dumbutt," I say, not taking my eyes off of our reflection in the mirror, scrunching up my nose. I turned around in is embrace to meet his eyes. 

"Happy anniversary Josh." 

He stares at me with loving eyes. I suddenly tingle as his eyes flick down to my lips. I lean in to close the small gap between us. I'm so lucky to have a guy like him. Just as I got to his lips, I heard the voice I dreaded and hated with a passion.

"Where the F.UCK is my breakfast???"

"Bye...." I whisper as Josh climbed out of my window. He made my morning a lot better considering what happened last night.

I run to the kitchen, my heart racing, dreading what I'm sure will come next.

"Yes?" I ask. His face was red, I can tell he's been trying to control his anger, but it's no use. He slaps me... hard. I bite my lip, holding back tears.

"Where... is... my damn... breakfast?" he says between gritted teeth. "I'll be right to it... Dad." I quietly say, hiding my face. Its always been hard to address him as my father. He hasn't ever treated me the way I've read fathers treat their daughters. I like books... they make me feel better, being able to escape life for a moment. This nightmare...

He grabs a fistful of my hair. "10 minutes," he growls in my ear. As soon as he leaves, my hand travels to my now-stinging, red, left cheek. I hurry to make breakfast, tears streaming down my cheeks. Up to a certain point the tears soothe my cheek. Why am I even crying? I should be used to it by now!

*Semi flashback*

Its been almost 6 years since this started. I was only 10. I never understood how or why. We were always a happy family. We would rarely fight. I have yet to find out why my dad turned so aggressive and why my mom suddenly hated me. All I know is that I'm stuck living like this for a while unless...

My thoughts were interrupted by my only sister, Ashley. "Nawee?" I turn around, wiping my tears away. "Hi peanut," I coo. I take her in my arms. "How'd you sleep?" "Good," she says with her cute little smile. "Go change sweetie. You have to go to Day care today. Your clothes are on your desk." She scurries off to find her clothes. She's too cute. Plus, she looks just like me when I was her age. Maybe that'll help her escape my parent's treatment.

I serve my Dads food. I hope he doesn't mind some measly ham and eggs for breakfast. My mother appears in the hallway just as I place the plate on the table.

"Hey fatass, is all that food for yourself?" She says with a smirk.

"No. Its for father," I say, avoiding her venomous gaze. "Want some?"

"No thank you hun," she replies overly-sweetly. "Id rather make my own food than eat the shit you make."

I sigh. I know my mother loves me, even in her own special way. She doesn't mean it. Although I wish she'd show it differently.

She gets a cup of coffee as I walk to my room to change. I pause to look back at her just as I get to my door. She's young and she shows it. I inherited her light brown hair and small nose, but I'll never be as beautiful as her. While she has a petite, skinny frame, I have a bulky, thicker body. I walk into my room. I take my clothes off and stare at my body in the mirror. Disgusting. Repulsive. You would've thought I would look at least a tiny bit slimmer since I haven't eaten in almost a week. My body is scarred in the oddest places: My thighs. Ankles. Shoulders. Hips. I had only cut my wrist once and I had gotten a beating from my dad after he saw them.

I shake my head. No need for self hate.

My features are what make me decent, so I decide to focus on them. My eyes are light brown and bigger than average. Sometimes, even when Josh reassures me, I feel like my nose is too big. I like my breasts though. Unlike my mom, a B-cup, I was blessed with 32DDs. Its really hard to find my size though, but I don't mind. Its just... my thighs.. my belly.. they make so fucking mad! I punch my ugly thighs.

I force myself to look away and concentrate on my closet. I settle on a striped purple and black sweater, black jeans, and my combat boots. Why is it so hard to accept my body? I mean, I'm not FAT. Just a little on the chubby side... Or am I fat? Maybe I'm just jealous of my mother. But then again, Josh loves me for who I am and that's the only thing that should matter.

Josh. He's amazing, and he's mine. He loves me. Yet when I met him, it was as if he appeared over-night.....

Sadly, good moments never last. I could hear the start of an argument through the door. "I didn't raise you to be stupid!" "See? I told you abortion was the best idea."

I clench my fists in anger. How dare they they talk about Ashley that way? She's only two!! I burst out of my room and demanded, "Leave her alone!" All I felt was the backhand slap of my mother and my head hitting the wall.

~~~~~~~

Soooo first book ever. Not sure if you guys will like it. I didn't want to upload it because idek... Anyways I did so here we are. It'd be nice if someone made me a cover *wink wink* ;) I'll update soon.