Characters:
Hannah- A Catholic otaku that also happens to be a talking banana.
Angela- A Catholic otaku that also happens to be a talking piece of bacon. Hannah's best friend.
Sarah- A talking piece of french toast who is somehow Hannah's younger sister.
Becky- A British alchemist.
Haruhi- A cloister nun.
Tamaki- A wealthy Frenchman who is in love with Haruhi despite the fact that she is nun and therefore kind of off limits.
Marth- A wizard.
Kika- Probably the most awesome person you'll ever meet.
Setting:
The characters are all together in Wisconsin, on a street called Mars avenue, and everybody besides Haruhi wants to polka. Nuns don't dance. Seriously. Have you ever seen a nun dance?
Story:
Hannah: "Ok, guys, we seriously need to polka. I didn't grow legs through my banana peel for nothing."
Angela: "Yeah. Seriously. Do you humans even know how much it hurts for food to sprout limbs? We need to polka with these precious gifts from God!"
Haruhi: "God did not give you those gifts just so that you could shake yo booty. One must not shake one's booty."
Tamaki: "Won't you at least do the polka with me, dearest Haruhi?"
Haruhi: "NO, Tamaki-senpai!"
Sarah: *never sprouted any legs* " I am piece of french toast!"
Kika: "You should really dance with him, Haruhi. And maybe have his baby."
Haruhi: "I HAVE TAKEN A VOW OF CELIBACY, KIKA! I WILL NOT BE HAVING ANYONE'S BABY!"
Marth: "Chill, Haruhi. Have a Snickers." *he hands Haruhi a Snickers*
Haruhi: *she takes said Snickers and enjoys the chocolate, caramel, nougat and peanuts*
Hannah: "...Well. Now that Haruhi's quiet, we still need a polka dance floor."
Becky: "No problem." *she transmutes a polka dance floor*
Marth: *he snaps his fingers and polka music starts playing* "It pays to be a wizard."
Angela: "I LOVE THIS MUSIC! But now, we need dance partners."
Tamaki: "Well, since there are five girls, two boys, and one immobile piece of french toast, I think some of you will have to be okay with having a same-sex partner. In a totally straight way. Haruhi, you will be my partner."
Haruhi: "I already told you, senpai, that I'm not dancing. No way. No how. Nuh-uh."
Sarah: "I AM A DELICIOUS PIECE OF FRENCH TOAST, PEOPLE!"
Becky: "Well, since Haruhi won't dance; may I be your partner, Tamaki?"
Tamaki: "Yes, my dear Becky, I would be blessed to have you as my partner."
Becky: *shes blushes on outside and fangirl squees on the inside as Tamaki takes her hand and starts dancing with her*
Kika: "Marth. You. Me. Partners. Now." *she grabs him and starts dancing with him*
Marth: "...K."
Angela: "Well, I guess that leaves you and me, Hannah." *she walks up to Hannah and starts dancing with her in a totally non-homosexual way*
Haruhi and Sarah: *sitting on the sidelines whilst everyone else is dancing*
Sarah: "Drown me in maple syrup and eat me!"
Haruhi: *weirded out by Sarah* "You know what? I think I'm just gonna leave. Go home to my nice, safe cloister and pray a rosary." *she talks to herself* "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea..."
In conclusion, Haruhi goes home to her cloister and prays a rosary. Everyone else dances the night away, except for Sarah because she's a piece of french toast lying on the floor.
THE END
The premise of this story was thought up by Angela, but the rest of it is the child of Hannah's twisted imagination. None of the character representations are neccessarily accurate.
