Things I Could Never Tell You

19, 20, 21

Text #19.

January 18, 11:54 pm.

Today Sophie dragged me to Jared Smith's back to school party. I didn't want to go at first, but then I just said 'to hell with it' and went anyways. We were picking out clothes in my room and I couldn't find any of them to wear. That was until Sophie spotted that dress. The black dress that we bought when I could still call you my best friend. I hate that dress because it reminds me the day you choose her to me. She insisted I'd wear it. I agreed to only try it out and when I got out of the bathroom with the dress on, she started screaming. She told me for once in my life, she had actually seen my legs. I rolled my eyes at her immaturity. She ordered me to wear it. To stop with her bickering, I just decided I'd wear it. We went to the party and you were already there surrounded by your new friends. She was there also. You had your arms around her waist and a smile on your lips. As I walked around the place with Sophie, some guys came to talk to me. I was talking to some random guy, when you stretched your back and accidentally turned to face me. Our gazes met and I swear that I forgot what breathing was like. I could feel your eyes traveling down my body and your mouth was slightly aghast. You threw me a weak smile and drew your attention back to your so called friends. Some minutes later, you came and talked to me. You told me that I looked pretty and that you missed me.
And I couldn't stop myself from wondering. How the hell did you become such a good liar?

Text #20. 

January 19, 5:09 am.

I wish I could tell you everything. It's a shame that we don't talk like we used to anymore. The words are bottled up in my tongue and stuck in my throat. I'm afraid I'll choke. Or maybe they'll just explode out of me. It has been hard to tell myself that some words are just better left unsaid.

Text #21.

January 20, 6:01 pm.

Dad just told me he loved me. It had been a month since he last said it out loud.