Angel

Chapter 16: Breakdown

Olivia's POV:
I had posted a picture of myself and I had gotten tons of comments. Many complimenting me and saying how I looked so much like Mel even if I wasn't her actual daughter and a lot of other things. Sydney had commented saying, "Hey how about u do us all a favor and kill yourself?" I was appalled by her comment. How could a human being be so malicious and evil? I don't know why she hated me. I had done nothing. After all , she was the one who poured a smoothie all over ME.

The rest of the day, since I was home alone, was spent decorating my room. I had put up some paintings and I had finally put the new bedding Mel had gotten me. It was a periwinkle color and I loved it. When I finished that, I spent the rest of my time thinking about how much school was going to suck. I lost track of time, and before I knew it, it was time to go to sleep.

Mel and Stephen had said that they might be out late and since it was already 10:30, I figured they were caught up doing something else. I checked my phone for the last time before going upstairs from making myself a dinner of mac and cheese. I had again been spammed with comments from people asking if I was actually Mel's daughter. Some accused me of just using Mel for the fame. I thought it was hilarious that people thought that because it was not even close to true. I noticed I was tagged in pictures. I clicked and saw tons of pictures of Mel, Stephen, and I. Guessing those were fan accounts, I went through and liked a few. I also saw someone had made a page about me. I thought it was a fan or something but why would I have fans? I saw that it was actually a hate page. My pictures edited to make me look horrible, whoever the person was, said horrible things.

"She's fat." "What a little whore." "This dumb b*tch thinks Mel B actually loves her? Haha she's wrong." "She cuts for attention but no one even cares about her." The captions seemed to get more demeaning and insulting. I cried. Not because of what they were saying but because no one actually knows me. I find it funny because no one took the time to actually get to know me yet they were saying all these things. Mel was probably the only one who knew and understood me. Stephen didn't know much about me either, but truth be told, I don't think even Stephen liked me. We talk here and there but never like Mel and I do. I loved him but I wasn't even sure if he liked me as his daughter.

I had a rough night. After being two months clean, I broke. I had to do it. It was the only way I could express the way I was feeling. I stared at my arm. Not long ago, I had promised Mel to never do this again. The red blood dripped down my arm. I put it underneath the faucet, turned the water on, and rinsed it. I made sure to dispose of the evidence of what I had done because I couldn't bear to see Mel's face if she found out. I went to sleep that night stripped of the little self confidence I had. I don't know if I'll be able to do this anymore.

Mel's POV:
Stephen and I had to make an appearance at a party. I felt bad for not taking Olivia but I don't think she would have been interested anyway. Her birthday was coming up soon. It's on April 11th and that was about five days away.

I had planned a party at a trampoline place and I think it'll be fun. "I hope she doesn't think her party is lame." I said to Stephen as we were heading home. "I don't think she'll think it's lame." He said smiling. "Oh by the way I'm taking her out the day before her birthday and no offense but you're not invited." "How rude!" I said jokingly. "I just think me and her need to connect some more you know? I'd love to get to know her as much as you do. She's practically a stranger to me!" He said laughing. "Oh Stephen quit exaggerating. She loves you and I do too." I laughed and held onto his hand as we pulled into the drive way.

I walked into the house and saw Olivia had left a note. "Went to bed. Hope you guys had a great night. See you in the AM :)." I walked upstairs put my purse down and changed into something more comfortable. I walked to Olivia's room and saw her sleeping. I walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. I stroked her big curly hair which reminded me of my old natural hair. I wondered why I got rid of it. It was beautiful and I missed it.

I made sure she was covered right and walked out. I didn't know what was going on with her but I knew something wasn't right. I knew because she usually stayed up until 12:00 and it was barely 11:00. I decided to hold off on asking her what was going on for awhile just so she had time to figure out her own feelings. With that, I headed to my room and slid into bed right next to Stephen. He looked at me. "Don't know what I did to deserve you but you sure as hell are the most beautiful woman ever." "Oh stop it you." I said and of course he ruined the moment by trying to copy my accent. Oh this guy was something else. "You're lucky I love you so much because if not I would've already kicked your ass!" "You?! HAHAH!" He screamed with laughter. "You know they didn't call me "scary spice" for nothing." I winked at him jokingly. "Oh shit my bad." "That's what I thought." I said laughing.

Stephen's POV:
I was awoken by a scream. Mel had sat up as soon as she heard it too. We both ran out of the room and into Olivia's. "WHAT DID I DO?!" She was screaming and crying uncontrollably. "Liv shh. Calm down baby I'm here." I had grabbed her and held her tightly while she sobbed. Mel look terrified. She didn't make an effort to go near her which I think is a good thing because it'd be a lot for her to handle. Seconds after picking her up, Liv looked at me and faintly whispered, "what did I do?" I saw pain all over her face. I tried my best not to cry as well.

We managed to calm Olivia down and ask her what was wrong. "School. Stress. Anxiety. Depression." Her words came out coldly. She was wearing a short sleeve shirt and I caught a glimpse of her arm. I knew Mel saw it too because she had her hand over her mouth and was trying to keep her sobs quiet. "Olivia.." She looked at me. "Why'd you do this?" I pointed to her wrist and she pulled it closer to her. She began to cry again. "I couldn't stop myself. Those girls are so horrible to me. I can't do this." "Can't do what?" I asked. "I CANT KEEP LIVING IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD FULL OF BULLSHIT. THINGS WILL NOT GET BETTER AND I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY! NOW JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" She ran out of the room and outside. I tried to go after her but I lost her.

I walked up the stairs and saw Mel crying. "Babe?" She looked up at me. "Why did I ever think I could be a good mother? She should be able to tell us these things and she obviously doesn't feel the need to." "Babe, she's been through a lot. I know it's a lot to handle but once we find her, calm her down, and make her feel safe than we can start going to see Dr. Sophie again." She nodded and we both headed out into the ice cold night to find our baby.
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Hope you enjoy my longest chapter yet. There's lots of profanity in this chapter so I apologize. Anyway Just got home from a road trip and spent the ride writing this chapter. More to come tomorrow.
Lots of love,
J