Trust

Chapter 1

You know when you've been hurt so many times; you start to shut yourself out from people? You don't allow people to get to know you and you get to the point where you trust nobody but yourself?

That's where I am. But let me take you back to where it started so you can maybe start to understand why.

My name is Hadley, I'm 19 and I grew up in Michigan. I attend MSU (Michigan State University) where I am currently studying an Honors Degree in Law. I live with my mother, father, and my younger brother Eden who is 7. My mom is a Real-Estate Agent and my dad is an FBI so we live in a mansion (most cliché thing ever I know). I will cut to the chase now.

So in year 7, I found my best friend, Anthony. We clicked instantly and we were never apart. We did absolutely everything together and we grew closer and closer each year. In year 9 he told me he liked me. And I fell for him, hard. Everything was amazing. I was dating my best friend. I trusted him with my life, and he with his. In year 11, we decided to take a step further and have sex. At that point in time, I was pretty sure I loved him. He wanted it to be special so after our prom night, he took my out for dinner with both of our families and he somehow managed to convince our parents to allow us to rent out a hotel room and stay the night. We stayed at Amway Grand Plaza Hotel, which described by my dad as "the most luxurious hotel we have in this kind-of-shithole." My dad didn't like Michigan but he couldn't convince himself or mother to move.

We did it that night. It really and truly was perfect. It strengthened our friendship and it deepened our relationship in ways I can never describe. I trusted him more and he loved me more. Things just went up from there. He was convinced he would ask me to marry him a couple years after graduating and we semi planned our lives together (we wanted to get married, travel and then settle down and have kids) and it really was a dream come true.

Year 12 came fast and it all started the night of graduation. One of my friends Mandy was throwing after's but Anthony couldn't make it. I of course said I wouldn't go without him but he convinced me to not miss out on a party just because he couldn't make it, and so I went with my group of friends. Everything was amazing. I didn't drink because I decided to be the designated driver, but I was dancing the whole night away. We finally decided to leave when I saw Anthony standing outside of the building chatting to a couple of the teams football team. I of course walked over to him, wondering why he was here and why he hadn't of told me he was here.

"Babe, I thought you weren't able to make it tonight?"

"Go away." He had slurred. He was drunk. Well that's what I assumed to only find out he was high; Ecstasy and a mix of other things he had taken I was told. One of his mates Travis helped me get him to the hospital that night. He was in there for the next day because they wanted to make sure they flushed all of it out of his bloodstream. They were actually shocked he was alive. How he didn't even go to jail I don't know. The police even questioned me, thinking I was the one who supplied him with the drugs. Of course I told them what happened that night but we never found out who gave them to him. He claimed he had his drink spiked but turns out that was a lie. Shit started going downhill from there. He promised me he would never do it again, and he did. Countless times after countless times of apologizing and swearing to me that I meant everything to him and that he wouldn't lose me over this. Then his eyes started to wander. I started to lose trust in him. I wanted to believe he would never actually cross the line and cheat, but he did. Well actually he did it multiple times, and I found out because I saw it. It was a couple weeks after everything had happened with the police and whatnot, and my friends wanted to take me out to get my mind off it. We were at a bar on Friday night and were having a couple drinks when we saw him walk in with a girl wrapped around him. I was about to walk up and say something when they started kissing and he led her towards the bathroom. I started crying and my friend Marlisa was going to go and have a few words with him but I stopped her, saying I needed to do it. I had to squeeze past a few rowdy boys that were all standing around the entrance to the bathrooms, but when I went in I didn't see them.

"What the hell?" I whispered to myself. That's when I heard it. At first I thought I was hearing something from outside the bathroom but then I heard it again. It was most definitely a moan. I slammed the ladies door open and I ran in frantically looking round in the stalls but it was empty. I slowly walked back out and stood outside the men's door, a small part of me secretly hoping that I hadn't heard it. And there it was again. I slammed the door open and ran in, thankfully not seeing any men actually using the urinals. I saw one of the doors slightly left ajar and I opened to see Anthony, my boyfriend, getting his dick sucked by the girl he walked in with. Want to know what was even worse? When he saw me, tears running down my face, he smiled at me.

I ran out of there so fast, and crashed into someone, I didn't even stop to apologize. I just had to get out of there. I ran out of the bar and hailed a taxi and went home and I cried. I didn't leave the house for days. My friends came and left when they finally understood I didn't want to talk about it. I started to get really angry so I started running, sometimes for hours at a time. I didn't know how else to control my anger. I didn't want to talk about it and I didn't want to see him either. After a couple days, Anthony came by.

"'Babe just let me explain. I'm sorry babe I really am." I wouldn't even open the door so he proceeded to yell through the door. Although I hated him, I couldn't have that little bit of hope inside that he meant it. Which was stupid because how could someone have an actual explanation for cheating. But I was so swept up in how much I was convinced that I needed him. So I let him in.

The more he tried to apologize, the angrier I got. His explanation didn't even make sense and I just didn't think I could forgive him for this.

"Can you forgive me babe? I love you and onlyyou and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me a better man,even though I may not be showing it now. You deserve the world and I intend togive it to you and more.