Trust

Chapter 2

I want to start a life with you Hadley! I want to start a family with you, I want to get to travel the world with you and show you things that I love and you with me. I want to buy our first house together and grow old together and have couple fights with you and most of all I want to die with you. I cannot imagine life without you Hadley and I know my actions show the complete opposite but I swear I will change for you. I love you."

"Anthony I cannot just forget that you've slept with multiple women. If you loved me like you swear you do, you would be faithful to me." The anger that came across his face when I said this chilled me to the bones.

"Then go fuck yourself. You don't even deserve me." He said through gritted teeth and then he punched me in the face. I fell back and hit my head on the floor and he started laughing and walked out and slammed the door. Not before spitting on me of course.

It was at that point I felt I couldn't even trust myself. I honestly thought he could of changed and instead it got worse and part of me knew I was to blame. I could of ended things but I kept going because I felt like I needed it. I felt like I needed him. But I didn't. And now I cant even trust myself. So I shut myself out. I resigned from University, and I basically stopped talking to all my friends from high school.

Eventually my parents realized this wasn't going to stop so they hired a therapist. Four times a week Dr. Alexander Wang would come by and talk to me for an hour, sometimes more. At first we would just sit there in silence because I didn't want to talk and open up to some stranger. But then one day I just poured my heart out. I don't know if it was because I suddenly just couldn't hold it in anymore, or maybe I felt bad that I hadn't said a word to him. For two day he just sat there, listening to me explain everything from the beginning. How it seemed to be perfect and how invested I was in him and the relationship and then how it all changed. I never told him that he hit me. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because part of me didn't want him to get in real, legal trouble. I don't know but I kept that part quiet. He then told me that we should talk; Anthony and I. I at first freaked out because I didn't know how to tell him that I was scared to see him due to what happened but then I thought, well maybe he knew what he was talking about even if he didn't know the full story. And so I agreed.

So Alex (he asked me to start calling him this) rang Anthony and set it up. Tomorrow he would come to mine and we would talk without Alex. He thought that if he was there it might seem like I didn't want to sort it out or something rather. After Alex left I got ready for bed and for hours stared at the ceiling trying to imagine how it would play out but I really had no idea. I mean he said I didn't even deserve him so I wasn't really sure as to why he would even agree to this. My mind wandered over every possibility until I eventually fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning around 9 and sighed with relief knowing that he wasn't coming around until 3. The day went really fast. I did a little food shop because mom and dad had gone to Washington for a conference of some sorts, so I was left with those duties. Went for an hour and a half gym session, took my dog Andy on a run, she's a Vizsla so she needs a lot of exercise, and took my 2014 Hyundai Sonata for a wash, she was brand new but dad had this thing about always washing your car before you use it. 

Finally it was time. I'm not going to lie, I was shaking. I was nervous and I'm not afraid to admit that. I had no idea how this was going to go down.

Then the doorbell rang.

"He's here." I said to myself. How lame, but now I was wishing that Alex were here. I opened the door and came face to face with Anthony.

"Please come with me and just let me explain everything please Hadley." He seemed so panicked, like I wasn't going to give him the chance to speak so I just nodded. I wasn't sure how I felt. Like my heart was racing, but I don't think it was from nerves anymore. We walked towards his pickup truck and we started driving in absolute silence. It was fucking awkward.

"Do you want me to talk first or..."

"I'm sorry Hadley. But I stand by what I said. Nobody deserves you and I'm going to make sure of that." He started driving faster, I could hear it, let alone see how much faster we were getting.

"Anthony please stop, I want to get out. Now." He started grinning and I had never felt so scared in my life. He started overtaking cars but it was dangerous, and I started crying. I tried to open the door but it was locked from the outside, tats how old this piece of junk was. I started screaming and hitting my arm on the door in hope that it would magically open but it didn't. I looked up but it was too late. ------

I was in a coma for a week. Anthony had driven the car straight into a house. I had suffered serious head trauma that caused bleeding and swelling of the brain, which caused it. The doctors are still surprised that I didn't suffer any permanent brain damage. They had feared that I would of lost all motor ability. So basically they thought I would have been paralyzed. I woke up and I've never seen my mom and dad so scared. I hadn't even known what had happened so they had police officers come in and tell me what happened.

"The driver had driven into a house exceeding speeds of up to 150km/hour. You were thrown out of the window by the force of the hit and hit your dead on a wall at speeds over 50kms/hour. Anthony died on the scene.

I blamed myself for everything. I knew deep down it wasn't but that's the mind frame I was in. I become depressed. I was subscribed so many pills and I was told to always be with someone because doctors feared that I would try and kill myself. I wanted to, trust me I wanted to. Not a day went by where I didn't think about it.

Then one day, I managed to go on a walk withAndy without anyone tagging along and I ended up at Michigan National Dog Park.I used to come here all the time when I was little because we used to neverhave any pets and my parents new how much I loved dogs, so we would come hereso that I could watch other people play with their dogs and I was usuallyallowed to join in. I was sitting on a bench, letting Andy have a rest whensomeone sat down next to me.