CHAPTER ONE
Should I jump? Should I not? I could do it, right here, right now. Just end the pain completely. Forever.
It all started when I was 14. The pain. Where my life was just headed downwards. It wasn't my fault, but nobody seemed to listen. It was all just "Oh, Yura has gone and done it. Her life's gonna go down the drain". All these rumours. All these lies. Stabbing me in the back with each word. Was anyone there to help me? No. Of course not. Everyone turned against me.
One evening, when I was coming home from my part-time job, everything changed. I didn't realize it at first, but when I did, it happened. He thrusted me up against the wall and raped me. There and then. No questions asked. I was left there, sitting in the gutter, crying my eyes out. When I got home that night, I went straight to my room. I just sat there, in the corner of my room, curled up in a ball, crying. I lived alone, as my parents had died when I was 10 years old. There was nobody there to help me, so I had to try and get over it by myself.
After that incident, I turned to alcohol and drugs. It was the only way out. My escape. Freedom. I would sit, in my bedroom, music blaring out of my speakers, bottles of alcohol and drugs surrounding me. I didn't care if I was making a bad impression of myself. It was my life, not theirs. I would gulp vodka, tears streaming down my face. What was I going to do in life?
The next week, at school, I was alone. I didn't have any friends, I was an outcast. Everyone had different opinions to me. They all looked down on the things I liked. nobody noticed me. All through primary school, I had been bullied because of the way I acted, the music I liked and because I was an "easy target". I got good grades, up until after the incident. I was so shaken, I didn't give a damn about anything else...
