!warnιng!
тнιѕ вooĸ wιll conтaιn ѕwearιng and ѕeх ѕceneѕ ѕo ιғ yoυ arenт conғoraтaвle wιтн readιng ѕтυғғ lιĸe тнaт, leave. тнanĸyoυ.
•••
Music loud, the fresh crisp night perfect for a fall bonfire party. There's people everywhere and the stench of cigarettes invade my nostrils. I stumble as I walk from the alcohol I had previously consumed.
For some reason the thought of almost falling makes me giggle.
With shaky legs I make my way through the crowd looking for a familiar, handsome face. I keep walking until two hands snake up by the sides of my waist and pull me close.
Instantly I recognize his smell.
"hey beautiful."
The husky voice could only belong to none other than Chase Wilson. Known best for being The quarter back of our high school foot ball team ( the Jaguars) and my boyfriend.
"Chase I've been looking for you!"
We stumble away from the roaring party and sit ourselves down under an old oak tree.
The party music a soft lullaby in the background of our intense make out.
Chase slides his hands slowly down my sides making me shiver in the dark. He places soft kisses all the way up my neck and hovers his beautiful pink lips over mine.
"Brooke have you been drinking tonight?"
Not saying anything I inch my hands down lower and lower until they stop at his belt. I don't want this to stop. I want to see how far we'll go tonight.
We usually only make out, but I know he wants this. I want this.
Instead of waiting for an answer Chase starts kissing me hard and more intense then before.
I rub my hands over his crotch area and he moans slightly causing me to smirk against his lips.
With a husky voice I whisper slowly, "you like when I touch you, don't you?"
I keep rubbing the material by his dick and he whimpers his reply.
"Let's go to my place."
Knowing full well that both of us were drinking we still went anyway.
Needless to say the ride was a little short and before I knew it, Chase was already undoing the clap to my bra and throwing me onto the bed.
With our mouths still locked I undo his belt as he pulls of my jeans. He hungrily rips off my panties and slips a finger into them slowly, causing me to moan.
I whimper while clawing at his back.
Bang!
"What the hell was that?" Whispers chase.
I quickly pull on my clothes and I see chase doing the same.
Bang!
"Chase, that sounds like gun shots... Really close to here..."
He runs out of the bedroom and I follow wordlessly. My nervous stomach slowly starting to churn.
We both peek out the kitchen window, but it's useless because of how dark it is outside. Since it's fall the evenings get a little foggy here so even if we had some light it would still be hard to tell what all the commotion is about.
Chase flicks the light switch for the outside light, but the power must he out because nothing happens.
We hear another bang, but this time a lot closer and the sound is joined with a chorus of screams.
"chase... I'm scared. What's going on?"
He scoops me up from the floor and holds me by my wrists tight.
"" I know baby, don't worry. I want you to go into my bedroom. In the back of my closet there's a little opening where you can fit through. Stay there until I come for you. Okay?"
"Chase what are you going to do?"
"Don't worry about me. Just promise me you'll wait until I come for you?"
BANG!
"Okay! I promise."
He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight one last time before saying
"Good girl. I love you."
"I love you too."
BANG!
He gives me one last pleading look before pushing me towards the bedroom.
Oh god.
Oh god.
I throw open the closet doors and burrow my way through the familiar smelling clothes.
Please let him be okay, please.
Everything is quiet. I debate wether or not I should leave my hiding spot.
Chase said to stay.
What happens if he's in danger. I can't be the reason. What if I can help him?
Don't do it.
I crawl from the little space all the way through the bedroom without so much as a sound.
I stop when I see shadows in the hallway reflecting from the kitchen.
I can't hear anything over the sound of sirens and the ringing in my own ears.
My heart stops when I see the first shadow pull out a gun.
Chase!
I want to move! I try to move!
It's as if I'm glued to the floor!
BANG!
One man crumples and everything fades to black.
•••
3 YEᗩᖇᔕ ᒪᗩTEᖇ
•••
I throw the dirty razor in the small bathroom sink. I wince from the sound of metal against metal.
The water dripping from the faucet turns a pinkish colour from the knife covered in little drops of blood.
My arms burn as a warm wetness of blood trickles down them slowy. I might have cut a little too deep, but the physical pain subsides after taking three or four pills.
The cheap motel 6 I'm currently sitting in reeks of unwashed body, stale liquor and mouldy cigarettes.
My cell lays dead on the bed. I haven't cared enough to charge it.
As I lay on the floor feeling numb, I can't help but stare at the ugly floral wallpaper and wonder where things went so wrong.
I bitter laugh escapes my throat. I guess you could say I had it all.
A perfect boyfriend.
The perfect friends.
School was going great.
I should've graduated college with everyone else, but it didn't happen.
I can remember the exact night that things started to fall apart. How could I forget? The nightmares replay what happened every night. Each one getting more and more vivid.
The more pills the less dreams. The more cheap booze, and cuts on my arms, the more pills. It's all one horrific cycle.
Sometimes I wish I could turn myself around, but I know I'm already too far gone. I'm literally the piece of shit on everyone's shoes and it's all because of that night.
Soon the high fades and the emotional and physical pain I feel, stings like a bitch. With shaking legs I stumble up from the stained carpet dragging myself slowly to the bathroom.
I splash warm water on my face and stare with hollow eyes into the dirty mirror.
This is not you.
The person that stares back looks more like a wild animal. Her hair is in a matted bun piled at the top of her head. She's a pale colour and a sickly looking skinny. Her clothes hang off of her in all the places that shouldn't.
Is this who I've become?
Dead. Not a person. A person is one who is living. This isn't living, this is barley surviving.
Who have I become? Is this really where I want to be?
But chase is gone. He disappeared that night. This is who you are now.
Drifting from motel to motel, stealing food just so I can keep going, and sleeping with pigs just so I can buy more pills and booze to make it through the days.
This isn't who I want to be.
You've come too far to change.
I can still try.
And that is exactly what I did.
My name is Brooke Daniels and this is my story.
•••
pleaѕe voтe and coммenт! ιм ѕтarтιng тнιѕ вooĸ and ι нope yoυ all enjoy!
