You

I remember you.

I remember how much I loved you.

I remember all of the laughs we shared,

I remember the hours we would spend lying together listening to music.

I remember us headbanging in your room at two in the morning.

I remember the feel of your lips on my skin and the feel of your skin beneath my hands.

I remember waking up to your face smiling down at me as I lay on your chest,

I remember your hair wet from the shower you took while I was sleeping.

I remember staying at yours every weekend.

I remember watching and rewatching and rewatching and rewatching your favourite movies.

I remember you saying you loved me.

I remember being a secret.

I remember every fight with your mother, father, sister, step brother, step father.

I remember you never wanting to talk to my family.

I remember holding you as you cried yourself to sleep.

I remember the look on your face as I lay pale, cold and writhing on the bathroom floor.

I remember you saying I was the only reason you were still here.

I remember all the nights I lay awake consumed with worry that you wouldn't make it till morning.

I remember all the times you carved lines into your skin, every single one of them etched into my brain.

I remember wanting to leave you but being too afraid that you would be found cold and limp in your room the next day.

I remember of all the things I was willing to do for you, give up for you, and put myself through for you.

I remember saying goodbye.

I remember leaving our group of friends so that you didn't have to.

I remember hating myself for being the one that hurt you

I remember you pretending like none of it ever happened.

I remember you.