Always the Bestfriend, Never the Girlfriend

Chapter 25: Unheard Feelings

Jasmine's POV

Nasaan naba yun? Kanina ko pa siya hinahanap. Ang laki pa naman ng Quezon City. And hindi siya expert sa lugar nato like me. When I got tired, I went to the park na malapit lang sa akin. Wala din namang katao-tao sa park nato. Nakakatakot. Haaaay. Where are you Ralph? Umupo ako sa swing at pumikit.

"I'm inlove with you. Matagal na"
"I'm inlove with you. Matagal na"
"I'm inlove with you. Matagal na"
"I'm inlove with you. Matagal na"

Ang sakit pala. Ang sakit sakit. Bakit hindi nalang ako ang mahalin mo, Ralph? Paulit-ulit na nagre-replay yung mga katagang sinabi ni Ralph kay Crystal. He's inlove with her. Tears were staring to roll down from my eyes. I've been inlove with him for more than 4 years. I stood by him whenever he needed someone. And hanggang ngayon, bestfriend parin ang tingin niya sa akin.

Humkbi ako. I'll always be his friend. Just his friend. Ayaw niya naman kasi talaga sa mga babaeng kagaya ko eh. Ayaw niya sa akin kasi si Crystal lang yung gusto--no--mahal niya. I'll always be just Jasmine, the girl loving him from afar.

"Jazz?" I opened my eyes and saw him. Napatayo ako and niyakap siya. Oh god. I was so worried.

"R-Ralph" I said while sobbing. I hugged him so tight but he didnt hug me back. Okay lang. Sanay na ako. Kahit sa yakap nga hindi niya pa nasuklian, paano nalang kaya yung pagmamahal ko?

"J-Jasmine" then he started crying. Sa aming magbarkada, ako yung pinaka close kay Ralph. Alam na alam ko yung mga sekreto niya. He tells me anything. Kahit yung mga embarrasing moments niya alam ko. So ako din yung unang may alam na mahal ni Ralph si Crystal. Masakit man, pero tanggap ko na yun.

"Why chose to tell her now?" Bigla kong tanong. Hindi pa siya sumagot but then he heaved out a heavy sigh.

"I think it's time for her to know that I love her. I can't stand seeing them together. Nasasaktan ako" sabi niya at huminga ulit ng malalim. Nalungkot ako at naawa sa kanya. And well, naawa narin ako sa sarili ko.

Mukhang napansin niya yung pagsimangot ko kasi bigla nalang siyang tumawa at inakbayan ako.

"Ano ka ba. Don't be sad. Ako tong dapat malungkot diba?" Nakangiti niyang tanong. Yung ngiti niyang mahahalata mo talagang peke. Bakit mo ba to ginagawa sa sarili mo, Ralph?

"If you're sad then I'm sad, right?" I said and nag pout. Niyakap niya ako and I felt himself na tumango. I think it's time, I think it's time na umamin na ako sa kanya. Bahala na.

"U-uhm. R-Ralph" omg! Why am I stuttering? Hoooh! Kalma Jasmine! You can do this. Aja. I stared at his face. He wasnt looking at me so okay lang na titigan ko siya. Nakapikit siya at nakangiti. Ang pait ng ngiti niya.

"Hmmm?" He asked while still closing his eyes.

"I-I need to tell you something" sabi ko and huminga ng malalim. This is now or never. He opened his eyes and tumingin sa akin.

"I--" bago ko pa man masabi yung dapat kong sabihin ay tumunog na yung cellphone niya. What a perfect timing. Tumingin siya sa akin which means kailangan niyang sagutin yung tawag. Tumango nalang ako at ngumiti. Tumayo siya at pumunta sa malayo.

I looked up and closed my eyes. "I love you" I whispered. Yes, maybe my feelings for him will forever be unspoken. I don't want to lose him, and maybe being his friend is the only way of not losing him. Yes. Hindi nanga lang ako aamin. I'd rather keep this for myself where it kills me only rather than tell it to him. Alam ko namang may magbabago eh. And baka magsisisi pa ako.