Of Vice and Men

Chapter 1

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

-Linda Berry

Even from a very early age, we are taught that happily ever afters are not only possible but something we should aspire to. We were read fairytale after fairytale where the princess landed the prince and everything is just a-okay in the end! Well, no one ever tells you what happens after the end of the story. What if Cinderella didn't actually love Prince Charming after all and was even more miserable at the palace than with her evil stepmother? What if Snow White preferred hanging with the seven dwarfs than being whisked away by some guy who claimed her with nothing more than a kiss? As young children who are willing to believe anything we are told, we never think to ask these questions, instead accepting that there is a happily ever after somewhere in our future. What we don't realize is that this is all a lie. That part we don't discover until it's much, much too late.

"Sheryl!" I snapped to attention as my best friend Brisa waved a college brochure in front of my face. "Are you even paying attention anymore?"

"Sorry," I said, carefully avoiding her question as the answer probably wouldn't be well received. "Just spaced for a second."

Brisa rolled her eyes. "You've been doing a lot of that lately." It was true, I had been spacing quite a bit since junior year had ended a few weeks earlier. But it wasn't the kind of summer-is-here-I'm done-using-my-brain kind of spacing most kids my age were doing right about now. Instead, it was the kind of spacing where I reflected back on the past three years of my life and did a mental revision, turning them into what I wished they could have been as opposed to what they actually had been.

I shrugged. "A lot to think about."

"You're telling me!" Brisa exclaimed. "I can't decide between Princeton and Yale. I mean Princeton is a little close to home but it has such a nice campus and really rich culture. But Yale's really nice too and I'd get to experience an area I didn't, you know, grow up in."

"Aren't you applying to both?" I asked, confused.

"Well yeah, but I'm trying to figure out which one I'll choose after I get accepted." Brisa was, in a word, driven. Most people saw her as a stuck up know-it-all but I knew better. Like me, Brisa had given up on guys after freshman year. Unlike me, she dedicated all of her spare time to school work, extracurriculars, and college scouting. She wasn't trying to rule the world, just make a name in it. Don't get me wrong, I made my share of As and took enough APs; in our school, they weren't really optional. It was just that I did what I had to do and that was that. I preferred to keep my free-time the way it was supposed to be. Free.

"Yale," I said. "Princeton's too close."

"That's what I was thinking!" Brisa agreed. "Okay, Yale it is."

I leaned back onto my pillow and stared up at my ceiling. "I can't believe we're going to be seniors!"

Brisa nodded. "I know, finally!"

I sat up on my elbows and just looked at her. "No! I mean, weren't we just freshman?"

Brisa rolled her eyes. "Sheryl, you're not getting premature nostalgia, are you?"

"No, I just... it just went by so fast."

"Well, we still have one more year." she pointed out. "It's not like we graduated or anything."

"I guess not," I honestly had no idea why I was suddenly getting so sentimental. It's not like my high school experience was anything particularly memorable. I was more than ready to apply early decision to Williams in the fall. I had been ready to go to college since freshman year, for God's sake! "I just don't like feeling so old."