Things I Could Never Tell You

127, 128, 129

Text #127.

May 4, 9:04 am.

It's incredible how things are so freaking different between us. It's incredible how we lost every bit of the intimacy we had. Sophie threw a party and decided she'd invite you. Of course, she would. You're her freaking damn crush, duh. But what she didn't expect is that you'd actually show up. Of course, she just had to go up to her room and change her outfit so she could try to impress you. You came with two of your friends. They ditched you to talk to some girls and you sat on the couch, where I was. The moment you saw me there, I looked into your eyes and saw that you were kind of acting awkwardly. You're body was rigid, I could sense that. You sat down and for the first few minutes, we were surrounded by an awkward silence. I tried to do everything to communicate somehow. But no words left my mouth. It's incredible the kind of effect you have on me.
"Hey, Steph." You finally said. I was just as awkward as you are and mentally thanked you for making it less weird.

"Uh, hey," I said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. You glanced at me and threw me a shy smile. I would never have guessed that we would share shy smiles. We were so close.

"So... How are you?" You asked, scratching the back of your neck.

"Fine," I murmured under my breath.

"Cool," you smiled. I felt my gaze traveling to your lips. They looked soft and inviting.

"Hey, Steph. We really should catch up sometime. It's been quite a while since we had a real conversation." You told me, pressing your back against the soft leather couch.

'And you're the one responsible for it,' my subconscious added.

"Yeah, totally," I whispered.

"You know what? The other day I caught myself thinking about that time when we kept chasing after Nightmare because he had stolen my shoes." You laughed, remembering one of our many happy memories. Your laugh echoed through my ears, making me get goosebumps.

"Yeah, I remember." I laughed. That was the moment that she came into the picture. Laurel was wearing a short light blue dress, which had her back completely exposed.

"Hey, baby," She said in a sickeningly sweet way.

Before you could even respond, she sat down next to you and pressed her lips against yours. Suddenly, I felt my whole body go numb. I could feel a thump forming in my throat, making it difficult to breathe. I tried to get my eyes away from that Godawful scene, but it just seemed like I wanted to torture myself a little more. I did my best to blink back the tears. When I blinked again, I was already up and away from you and her, next to the bathroom. There was a large line of people waiting to enter it, but I just walked in first, not throwing a fit about the rest of the people. I locked the door and looked at my reflection on the mirror.
"You're so much stronger than this, Stephanie," I whispered to myself. I washed my face and walked out of the bathroom.

I walked back to the kitchen and saw you there, still with her. She had her arms tangled around your neck and you had your hands on her cheeks, whispering something in her ear. You caught the gaze of me and suddenly took your hands off her. You told her something and walked up to me.
"Hey, S. I was looking for you," You said.

The scene of you kissing her kept replaying in my head.
"You know what?" I said suddenly. "I have to go. I'm waiting for someone." I told you and started walking away. I didn't know where the hell I was going, but then from the corner of my eye, I saw library boy. He was there, against the balcony and with a drink in his hands. I could see that you were still looking at me. Out of an unexplainable impulse, I walked up to library boy, and before he could even look at me correctly, I closed the gap between us by crashing my lips against his. You were looking at us the whole time.

Text #128.

May 5, 2:06 pm.

It's a Saturday and I just woke up. I'm in Sophie's bed, with a shirt I can't recognize whose is. It goes two palms up my knee and it smells good. Oh, Lord. What could I have possibly done? I just saw my dress neatly placed on a hanger in Sophie's closet. She's sprawled on the other side of her bed, with her hair covering most of her face and she looks passed out. My mind starts to think of possibilities that might have occurred yesterday for me to end up like this. I just took the shirt I was wearing off, took a hot shower and put my clothes back. I didn't tell dad that I'd be staying here, so he's probably worried. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note on it.

Soph,
Call me as soon as you get this. I woke up wearing a freaking guy's shirt. I'm kind of scared of what happened.
Luv ya,
S.

Text #129.

May 6, 8:14 pm.

Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I just read the text I sent you Friday and guess what?
I KISSED SOMEONE. No, scratch that. I FREAKING KISSED LIBRARY BOY!!!
Oh, Lord. Why can't I remember anything? I tried every possible thing to remember what happened that night, even banging my head against the wall. Sophie isn't answering my calls and dad told me that I'm grounded and that I can't go to her house for one week since I slept there without warning him. Dammit. I hope I didn't do anything so intense.