Chapter 4

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I wake up in Harry's arms. Slowly picking up his hand off my waste, I see something red on his wrist. I pull his hand to my face slowly, trying not to wake him. On his wrist are eight long cuts, and some scars farther up his arm. My heart drops. Why would he do this? How did I not know about it? "What are you doing?" Harry opens his eyes slowly, then he realizes what I'm looking at.

His eyes widen, and he quickly pulls his wrist away from my hand. "Harry? Why would you do that?" His fuchsia green eyes look up into my yellowish green ones. Then a look of sadness appears on his face. "How long have you been doing this?" I question, feeling bad for not paying close enough attention to him. Harry looks up to me and looks back down "I have been doing it all my life. I didn't want to tell you, I thought you would leave me." He looks down at his cut wrist, frowning at the fresh cuts."Harry I would never leave you for something like that." I say bringing his chin up to look me in the eye.

He smiles a bit, as if a huge weight has been lifted from is shoulders. "Harry?" He looks up at me wondering what I will say next. "Where are your blades?" He looks down and frowns at my question. "Show me them." I say, holding back the tears that sting at the corners of my eyes. He gets up, walking to his suit case. He opens the biggest pocket, pulling back a piece of fabric. Revealing a small bag with the tiny silver objects laying inside. He walks back over to his place on the bed.

He places the bag in my open hand. "Ashley  I need them please don't take them away." He pleads, trying to get them back. Then a thought crosses my mind, and I think it might just work. I open the small bag, pulling out the biggest blade. I pull the blankets off my arm, placing the blade in Harry's hand.

Harry's POV

She moves the blankets from her small arm, and sets a razor blade in my hand. She takes my free hand, and places her small wrist in my hand. Her soft skin brushed against my ruff, and callused hand. "I want you to take that blade, and cut me as many times as you would cut yourself." She looks me in the eyes, searching my face for answers. "But I could never hurt you like that." The words tumble from my lips. Then I understood everything, I dropped the blade and think about what just happened.

I let everything soak in for a moment. She picks up the blade off the sheets, and placed it back in the bag. She walks to the toilet, I follow behind. She drops the blades in the toilet, and before I can try to stop her she flushes them. "Do you understand?" She says looking at the toilet bowl, like they may float back up. "Yes." I respond, something clicking inside my brain. "Good." She smiles, and pecks my lips.

Ashley's POV

The last few days Harry has been acting a bit happier, but he has explained to me that he still wants to cut. Which is crazy because he is getting better. "Babe, I'm starving. Come with me to Nandos?" Harry says, braking me from my thoughts. He walks out of the bathroom, with nothing on not even a towel.

This is normal to me, he is a nudist. I look at his face unphased by his naked body. "Okay, when will you be ready." I say, looking up to his deep green eyes that have regained some of there light. "Give me about thirty minutes." He says, walking back to the bathroom. I nod my head even though he can't see me.

I make my way to the suit cases in the corner of the room. Opening the suit case with flowers scattered around on the thick black fabric, grazing my eyes over the clothes and other bags that lay inside. I locate my make up bag, pulling it out.

I walk to the bathroom. I open the door revealing a still naked Harry, with a tooth brush hanging out of his mouth. I walk to the other sink, in the over sized bathroom. I start to apply my make-up, I make my eyes very natural, with a bit of blush covering my cheeks.

Harry walks around in the large hotel room, looking for his clothes. He opens the closet, pulling out a dark blue pair of skinny jeans with a blue shirt, and green flannel to go with it. He walks back to the bathroom fixing his hair by simply running his fingers through it, making his classic quaff.

I put my hair in a messy bun. Tying off my messy bun, I walk to the closet on the right of Harry's. I open the white doors walking in, I decide on a light wash pair of skinny jeans, and a white shirt, followed by a red scarf and my black purse, with my gray converse. I walk to the couch sitting down, Harry walks in seconds later. "Ready babe?" He looks down to me, with his charming smile. "Ready." I reply, walking into his side.

I pull away from him, walking to go get my purse off the bed. I rush back to his side and hold his hand, intertwining our fingers. Harry opens the hotel room door, revealing the hallway. He heads for the lift. "Can we take the stairs?" I ask, knowing I haven't worked out in a few days.

He nods, leaning down to peck my forehead. We walk into the lobby, making our way to the hotel doors. Surprisingly the outside of the hotel is vacant, no paparazzi, no screaming fans, just no one. Harry looks around like someone will show up any moment. We walk to Harry's new car, stepping inside.

I put on my seatbelt, looking out the window. Harry starts the car, placing his hand on my upper thigh, moving his thumb back and forth soothingly. He turns on the radio, flipping through the channels. Then he stops on a station, the station is playing I Found by Amber Run.

This is one of mine and Harry's favorites, he sings along. "I'll use you as a warning sign, That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind, I'll use you as a focal point, So I don't lose sight of what I want, I've moved further than I thought I could, But I miss you more than I thought I would." He sings filling the car with, his raspy yet soothing voice.

I want for the chores, then I sing with him. "I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, Right I front of me, talk some sense to me." We sing in unison, Harry singing one octave lower than me. The song ends a few minutes later, I turn back to the window looking out to the trees. "I love you Ashley. Thank you for saving me, you make living in this hell worth it." He says, trying to catch my gaze.

I turn my head, looking into his eyes I see all of his emotion. "I love you too. "Harry, I can't live without you. I wouldn't survive, you mean to much to me." I say, to him meaning every word that falls from my lips. I few mintues later we are pulling into Nandos.

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