So... this is exactly what happens when my english teacher hands us completely random assignments. He assigned a dialogue theme to the class, and at first, I had no idea what to do. He told us that we could only use minimal description, and that was where my trouble began. I was so used to describing things as much as I wanted to. I didn't want there to be a question of "How old is this character?" or "What color is their hair?". So writing this theme was a challenge for me. My original theme didn't sit well with me, just when I was about to hand it in. I told my teacher that I didn't really like the theme that I had written, and asked it I could hand in a new one and get points deducted for it being handed in late. He agreed. And that night, the idea to write this new theme, which I ended up handing in the next day, hit me. And so, here it is.
P.S. The descriptions are written in italics, and the speaker is indicated with bold.
Enjoy!
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A conductor and a confused passenger are sitting in the dining area of a train.
Confused Passenger: Sir, where am I?
Conductor: Why, you are Here. He points to the floor of the train.
Confused Passenger: But where is here?
Conductor: Here is not There. He points to the floor of the train, then he points out the window, where a town could be seen in the distance.
Confused Passenger: Okay. Here is not there, but where is here?
Conductor: Here is Here, and There is There.
Confused Passenger: But where is here, and where is there?
Conductor: There is where we are going, and Here is where we are.
Confused Passenger: I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me!
Conductor: Here is Here, man! How can a man possibly be so confused?
Confused Passenger: Well of course I’m confused! You’re not telling me what I need to know!
Conductor: I told you—Here is Here, and There is where we are going!
Confused Passenger: Oh, the hell with you! He looks for another passenger. Ah, yes. Excuse me madam. Do you happen to know where we are?
Female Passenger: Of course. We are on Here.
Confused Passenger: Pardon? You mean that we are on the train?
Female Passenger: No, sir. I mean Here. We are on Here.
Confused Passenger: I know that we are on a train, but where is here?
Female Passenger: Here, sir.
Confused Passenger: I don’t understand any of you people! (shouted)
Conductor: Pardon him, madam. He really is a confused young man.
Female Passenger: So I’ve noticed. Please, excuse me, but I am late for a round of my cards in my cabin.
Conductor: Of course. Please enjoy the rest of the trip on Here. She exits.
Confused Passenger: I still don’t understand. In fact, I’m more confused than I was at the start.
Conductor: Well—a beeping sound cuts him off.
Confused Passenger: What was that noise?
Announcer: Thank you for traveling on Here. We have reached There, so please be on your way. And try not to forget any of your belongings on Here. Have a nice day.
Confused Passenger: You’ve got to be kidding me.
***~~~~~End~~~~~***
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A/N: There's actually a little bit more to the story of how I came up with this. On the day that I asked for an extra day on my theme, we had to do a skit in my Spanish class. It was for practicing our speech, but the scenario that my group had to act out was this: "One group member will be the conductor of a train. The other two group members will be tourists that are confused about something." I was a 'tourist' in my group. A part of our conversation went like this:
Me: Where am I?
Conductor: Here.
Me: But where is here?
Conductor: Here is not there.
Me: That is not an answer!
So... our skit in Spanish also gave me inspiration. And then I thought, after I wrote the new theme: "This reminds me of Who's on First?"
Nevertheless, that's where I came up with it. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.
*~ Amaterasu2772~*
