Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (SAMPLE)

Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages - Chapter One

Chapter One

“Everleigh!” I shouted. Jesus my niece was like a fucking ninja! She just appeared and disappeared whenever she wanted to and you least expected her to. “It’s not funny anymore, come out.” I walked into the kitchen again to see if she was hiding in a cupboard, although she didn’t like to hide in the same place twice. “Everleigh, I’ll give you chocolate ice cream.”

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I prayed it wasn’t my sister calling to talk to her daughter. I was running out of excuses as to why a three-year-old couldn’t come to the phone. If I told Oakley it was because I had – yet again – misplaced her only child she would flip the fuck out.

I sighed in relief when my wife’s name flashed up on the screen, Abby. “Hey,” I said into the phone.

“Hi. I’ve been invited to dinner with a few colleagues, is that okay? We don’t have anything on, do we?”

Great, I’ll fend for my-fucking-self then! I frowned and replied, “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll probably hang around Oakley’s until she feeds me when I drop Everleigh off.”

Abby laughed. “Lucky Oakley! How is Everleigh?” If I could find her, I could ask…

“She’s fine,” I replied and opened the downstairs bedroom wardrobe to search for her. I couldn’t quite remember how long ago it was that she hid in her bedroom so I wasn’t sure if looking here was productive or not. Bloody kids!

I knew at any point while I was searching she could just jump out and scare the shit out of me. Even knowing that, I would still jump and, on occasion, scream like a little girl.

“Is she being good? Didn’t Cole and Oakley say she was having a ‘no’ phase?” She was. There was no getting her to do what she didn’t want to. I think it was Oakley’s fault too, she had always told her she never had to do anything she didn’t want to. We all knew it was because of what those evil bastards did to her as a child, but it did mean Everleigh got away with murder sometimes. Plus all she had to do was look up at me with her big blue eyes, and I was done.

Everleigh’s high-pitched scream made my heart stop and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Shit! I turned on my heel and sprinted towards the noise. Shit, shit, shit ! “Everleigh?” I shouted as I ran to the living room, shoving the door open.

She jumped off the sofa, lading in front of me and screamed, “Roar!”

“What the fu-fudge!” She burst into a fit of giggles and jumped up and down. “What was that? Why did you scream? You scared the sh-sugar me!” I scowled. Damn swearing in front of kids!

She shoved her hands on her hips – a mini diva. Oakley was never like that when we were kids, not even before those bastards abused her. “You were taking too long to find me.”

I blinked, shocked. “So you screamed bloody murder to get my attention?”

“What does bwoody mean?”

Oh, no! “Err, that doesn’t mean anything. I said… blonde.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did,” I countered.

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“No you didn’t.”

Sighing, I ran my hand through my hair. “If you pretend I didn’t and don’t tell your parents I’ll give you sweets.”

She smiled and skipped out of the room. “Deal, Uncle Jasper.”