I Can't Sleep At Night // Cashby

Part 1

This is the last place I want to be. Why did they have to send me back here? I would literally be anywhere but here. This school is not only terrifying to step into everyday, but also a death wish. Besides, right now, I'm like a ticking time bomb. If someone were to say a word to me, I may just start sobbing. Yeah, the past few weeks have been really emotional. The worst weeks of my life by far. I can't feel anything anymore. She's gone. My dedication, inspiration. Nearly the only person I care about. My mum's gone. She's really...gone. I wipe my eyes before opening the glass doors to this death trap some call a school. I wasn't crying, but I knew it was coming. I walked down the hall with the hood of my black sweatshirt up, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I decided to dress in all black. It seemed appropriate. Maybe people would leave me alone. Sure, I'd be labeled as an 'emo' but I already am so, fuck it. Black skinny jeans, black vans, black everything. Except my hair. It's brown. I wasn't looking up, but I could feel them watching me. I don't blame them, I haven't been here for weeks, but it was kind of annoying. I came into class early. I know, if you come to class late your officially 'a badass' but then everyone stares at you when you walk in. Early is better. I silently walked in and sat in the back of the room, staring down at the wooden desk I write lyrics on in class. 

'This is not what it is only baby scars, I need your love like a boy needs his mothers side.'

A tear fell onto the desk and smudged the words written in pencil.

"Austin?" Mrs. Walker spoke softly. I wiped my face with my sleeve and shot my head up. "Where have you been?!" I wasn't in the mood.

"Something uh-" my voice cracked. I couldn't say it. It hurt.

"It's fine, sweetie, you don't have to tell me." She gave me a reassuring smile and looked back down at her computer screen. I let out a breath of relief and rested my head in my arms on the desk, waiting for class to start. Soon, the bell rang and the rest of the class flooded in the room, laughing and talking loudly.

'ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP.' Ha. I wish. I sat in my seat just waiting for someone to call me a fag or emo or whatever else they call me. Surprisingly, it didn't happen. Maybe it would finally stop. I didn't pay attention the entire class. I wrote down lyrics to finish the song I started. The bell rang and I was the last one out, not wanting to have to try and shove through the door. I was nearly out of the room when someone grabbed my back pack. I turned around and it was Mrs. Walker.

"Listen, if any of these kids are mean to you again, tell me, okay?" She looked me in the eyes. Mean to me? What am I, 10? I'm fucking 17. I can handle my own problems. I nodded quickly and ran out the door. I was opening my locker, late for class because of the teacher. I forgot my combination from not being here.

"Carlile! Look who's back!" A voice echoed down the hall. I turned my head and saw him. through strands of hair, I studied the devilish grin on his face. "Where ya been, emo?" He asked quieter, leaning against a locker next to mine.

"Just leave me alone." I turned to walk away and he grabbed my shoulder.