When I am too tired to sleep,
I talk aloud to an invisible crowd,
Give over pronounced speeches
And try to justify every decision I've ever made.
The thing about being tired
To the point that you think you are good at public speaking
Is that it never really stops
When I was younger they called me 'precocious',
Said I talked out of turn
Used words the other kids didn't 'get'
The thing about being precocious is that I wasn't.
I was just tired,
Tired of being told to grin and bear it, that I was being dramatic, that I should make more of an effort,
Tired of 'they weren't to blame, you weren't helping yourself by not joining in'.
I am not good at public speaking, and I doubt I ever will be,l
But I have learned my craft,
Perfected how to speak like you are not trying to push the daggers back up my throat,
like I did not see who stabbed me.
