Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

1 February Kashaf

Zaroon,ander se itna depressed admi hoga mujhe kataye hi andaza nahi tha. Aaj jab office ke baad hum ek beach par gaye toh mujhe usse uski dil ki baat janni thi. Hum baith kar lehron ki odh dekh rahe the jab maine
Kaha
"Zaroon main janti hoon koi ek baat hai tumhare Mann me jis ke karan tum itne change huye ho. Bhalaye hi hum ek dono ko bohot samay se nahi jante magar Maine yeh to zarur notice kia hai ki tum me kuch tabdili ayi hai. Pehle main tumse yeh sawal nahi puch sakti thi magar ab to tum mujhe itna trust karte ho na ki mujhse koi bhi baat share kar sako."
Uske haath par apne haath ko rakhte huye Maine pucha taki main use apne taraf sent mutmaeen kar sakun.
"Kashaf,baat mere Abba aur ammi me rishte ki hai. Mujhe mere Abba yaad bhi nahi. Ha,Maine unki tasveer Dekhi hai. main ammi se bohot close tha magar Maine kabhi unki kadar nahi ki jis tarah se mere Abba ne meri ammi ki nahi ki. Ammi ko cancer tha magar unhone mujhe nahi bataya magar akhir main woh mujhe Abba ki sachai bata kar chali gayi. Abba ammi ko roz bedardi se Mara karte. unhe shayad yeh shaadi kabhi manzur hi nahi thi ya yeh keh sakun mere abba kabhi ek aurat ke saath khush hi nahi rehte. woh ammi me upar tamam jurm kiya karte magar woh meri khatir chup rehti. jab main kareeban teem saal ka honga toh Abba me dusri shaadi kar li uske bawajud woh ammi ko ko paise ke liye torture kiya karte. phir unka intekal usi saal ek dard naak plane crash me hogayi. magar ammi nahi mere zahen me mere baap ki ek kharab image nahi dhali,kabhi nahi zikar kiya ki woh ek nakamyab shauhar aur baap the. Ammi ne humesha mujhe unki tareef ki aur jab bachpan mein kabhi ammi ko sapne mein cheenkte aur rote huye dekhta aur agli subah iska zikr karta to wo use ek bura sapna keh kar tal deti par sach to yeh tha ki woh bachpan ki ammi ki hi cheenkhne aur sisakne ki awaazein thi. Mujhe darr hai Kashaf kahi main bhi Abba jaisa shauhar aur baap na sabit ho jaun. ek acha beta toh main nahi bann saka aur ek bura shauhar banne ki takat mujhme nahi hai yeh bojh lekar main nhi jee paunga Kashaf main nahi jee paunga.."
Yeh keh kar woh bacchon ki taraf rone laga mujhe uske liye bohog bura laga aur dukh bhi hua magar Maine use samjhane ki koshish ki.
"Dekho Zaroon. yeh zaruri nahi ki tum tumhare Abba jaise ban jao. aur tum hargiz waise nahi ho. tum ek bohot ehsas aur suljhe huye mard ho iska andaza mujhe ho chuka hai. Tum hargiz begairat nahi ho agar hote toh yeh ehsas tumhe kabhi nahi hota tum kabhi in chizon ke bare mein nahi sochte. kaunse aise log hote hai Jo bura kaam karte huge sochte hai. aur tum yaha is baat par baith kar to rahe ho ki agar tum kuch bura kaam kar do. hadh karte ho tum Zaroon ab aise bachon ki tarah Rona band karo log kya sochenge main tumhare saath hoon aur is shaadi ko hum ek kamyab shaadi banakar dekhayenge. socho isse tumhari ammi kitni khush hongi."
Yeh keh kar Maine uske balon se halke se apni hath ko phera aur usne kaha
"tum mera saath dogi?"
"akhiri dam tak."
"I love you Kashaf."
"I love you too."
Yeh kehte huye hum waha sent nikal gaye.