November 1
These past weeks have been both bad and good for me. I've learned things about myself and how to solve some of my problem.
It's always just been my mom and I am starting to realize that maybe I've been to hard on her. She's doing the best she can to make me happy yet I've always taken my anger out on her.
I am such an angry person and that because I don't talk to anyone about my feelings. My friends and family have always believed the happy facade that I put up. At this point, if I chose to call someone and vent it would be a large surprise for them. I don't really like talking to people about my problems.
All of those things stay pent up inside of me and when it gets to become too much I get this unsettling feel in my stomach, a ringing in my ears and I just want to yell.
How do I take care of this you ask?
I take it all out on my mother. The person who's there for me through thick and thin, the person who's seen me at my worst, and the person who's cried a million times behind closed doors because of me.
I just shout at her. I'm not sure whether it's because I have no one else to take my anger out on or if it's because I know she will always love me no matter what. Either way it's wrong of me and I need to find a way to let it all out with out hurting other people.
I guess some part of me just doesn't want to be rejected, or looked down upon, or pitied. I don't want to get hurt. I just need someone to talk to.
Aside from the all of this sad news, I got into photography at school!!!
-invisibleme
Qotd:
Do you ever feel this way?
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Help Yourself: The Bigger Picture
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