Virtual Diary

Entry 1, 11/1/15

So... for about the past month I guess you could say I'm dieting?

I don't eat any, any, sugar. And I don't eat lunch. When I can I skip breakfast or lunch, but normally I have to eat those 2 meals because my family will think something's wrong. I don't want to worry them since they're still stressed after my brother's death.

But don't confuse me with an Anorexic. I'm not. I'm just a stupid complaining girl. (Nothing against anyone with anorexia, if you think that's what I'm implying).

I can't cut. Too conspicuous. What I do is scratch my stomach (image above, I know I'm really fat but who knows maybe I'll get skinnier) and punch my upper legs. I guess it works. I mean it kind of hurts, and it's the most harm I can deal without anybody noticing. Maybe in the winter, where I'll always have a sweatshirt on as well as a thick shirt so if my stomach bleeds it won't show. But even if I can I don't know how to obtain a blade. Maybe if I get a screw driver I can disassemble my manual pencil sharpener? I started self harm around late September, 2015, in case anybody asks I can tell them if it's written down.

Current stats: 12 years, about 106 pounds. I'm actually confused because I allowed myself to eat a bit of candy on Halloween and I had to eat lunch... then again I walked around a lot.

So far what I've eaten today (it's 4:00) is a bit of hash brown for breakfast and about half of a microwave chicken pot pie.

For exercise I'm going to try and go on walks the days I don't have sports, but I go to karate (Kempo Ju-Jitzu) on Mondays and Saturdays, occasionally Wednesday but normally not because Wednesday's I go to Baton twirling 20 minutes after Karate and it's far.

That's all. Goodbye diary. I may not write daily, and I may have more than one daily entry. Who knows.