He couldn't ever accept the fact that I loved him so much. I believe that's why we struggled so much. Marcus wasn't what you would call popular, or very attractive in others eyes. I seen something in him that others didn't. He just couldn't accept that.
I always thought we would be perfect. Our relationship was "perfect" for what felt like years. Although we had the best everything. Our first kiss was by far my favorite. It was possibly a week before our relationship fell in a dark hole of bitterness and sorrow. It feels like just yesterday that we kissed right under the stars. It was just like a fairytale kiss. It made me feel like a princess. It was in that moment that I myself felt beautiful for the first time.
I myself wasn't the best looking. I'm still not. I'm not ugly but not beautiful. I wasn't popular but I was accepted. I was never left out but I wasn't needed. Marcus was the only thing that ever made me feel like I was worth something. I mean I always had my faith and that is mostly what kept me strong through all of our struggles.
We had our bad times but the now distant memory of that fairytale kiss made up for it. I remember every detail of that night. We were at a party for our 8th grade graduation and we snuck out of the school to go on a walk. We walked around the school several times. We would stop every once in a while and he would touch me like he was going to kiss me but he didn't. You could see that he was scared. He was scared that he would take things too far too fast. That didn't last long...
We finally stopped walking and sat on a small hill, our hill, right outside the school. We just talked about everything. Everything that we had been through and everything we would go through. It just felt good knowing I finally had someone I could tell everything to. It took me almost three months into our relationship to even realize that. That's why I made the first move.
