Monster

Couch. Table. Bed. All the places I can hide. Luckily, my body was small enough for me to fit into all of these places. I only ever needed to fit when I heard the voices echo. That's when I knew. I could hear the screams of the woman who demanded I call her Hannah. I always felt bad, but I could never do anything.

What was there to do? I was too fragile to go against Sir. That's the man who is with Hannah, the one who causes the screams. Sometimes, I could see what he did to Hannah from underneath my bed. That wasn't occasional though. Usually all I heard were the screams and loud curses.

I'm starving. I haven't been out from behind this couch in two days because of the screams. This is the longest they've gone on and I'm scared. Scared for my life. Usually when the screams stop, Sir will come and find me. Yelling, "You monster! Look at what you've done to her!" He usually left after these words and we wouldn't see him for a couple of days. I never left my spot until I heard Hannah get up. I would run to her asking if she was okay because of the screams and the purple marks. She would always just yell for me to fuck off.

The screams have stopped, but I don't hear Sir leaving the room. "You stupid bitch! Can't you handle a bit of rough play?" I don't know what this means but I hope Hannah is okay. "How about you just get up? Stop being a weakling!" I hear him stomp down the hallway, in search for me. When he finds me I get the usual.

I'm in my room now, cowering beneath a bed sheet. Because that's all I am, a coward. I look down at my body, all the marks have made their appearance and they hurt a lot. I haven't heard Hannah move from her spot but Sir told me to go into my bedroom before I saw something I didn't want to.

That was two days ago.

I haven't eaten in three days. I don't know how to cook and Sir told me to not move. I've been peeing in my bed because I don't know what to do. I'm just soaked in piss and starving so much all I can do is sleep. Maybe, I'll dream of food and get full off of that.

-20 years later-

I sit at my desk, like usual, doing my homework of the day. This is all I do. Wake up, get ready, go to a couple of lectures, eat, do homework, sleep. It's the usual routine. All I experience is boredom, loneliness. But I need loneliness. I can't have company.

"You fucking monster, you murdered your mother! Why can't you get your shit together? You always just have to screw things up. You were Hannah's biggest regret and you murdered her! Have fun in hell you monster."

My father always smelled of Whiskey. Now it's my favorite drink, it tends to hide my monstrous emotions. I love the way it burns my throat.

I have to go out tonight, to get some dinner. On my way home, I see this beautiful woman. Her hair, halfway down her back and it's a wonderful brown. I've never felt lust, but I know this is what it feels like. I run up to her, wanting to grasp her attention.

"M'am, may I have your attention for a moment?" She turns around and smiles her wonderful smile. She nods. "Can you give me direction to Hollywood Lane?" She looks confused for a second but starts to turn her back to point a direction. The moment it's fully turned, I'm on her. My hands, holding her shoulders tightly. My lips, on her neck creating the violent mark Hannah always had.

I left the delicious women in an alley, she was covered in the marks I knew Hannah had. I went back home, feeling as if a part of me had been found.

I was born a mistake, a Monster. That's all I am.