after my best friend's death

after my best friend's death-chap 12

“Go wildcats” Naomi screeched from her place on the field. I saw her eyeing Nate who sat in the first row along with the other football players. Not that I care.  The cheer-bimbos stood along the stage, clapping, shouting and grinning like maniacs. Truthfully I think it takes a lot of energy to be a cheerleader, not that I’ll ever accept it in public.

            The principal came on stage, his loud stern voice quieting the hoards of students. He started saying something how we were going to kick ass this year, how he wanted us to go for every game and support our school team. I tuned him out then, too nervous about my speech. I stood at the corner of the stage, waiting for the principal to introduce me, with my speech clutched in my sweaty palms.

            “As you all know, we lost a beloved student. She was merely sixteen, had a full life in front of her. Today I would like you all to remember her, as go forth with our season. She was a lovely vibrant person, who will always remain in our hearts and be deeply missed.” I couldn’t help but smirk as he said lovely and vibrant; Cyn told me once she caught the principal stare at her longer-than-life legs when she was sent to him for dressing indecently in her supremely mini skirt. Not that any of the guys were complaining.

            The principal gave a pursed lip encouraging smile to the Sommers’ in the front row and paved way for me. Deep breaths, I told myself, as my hands shook fiercely as I took to the podium.

            The crowd in front of me was massive. How did the principal talk so confidently up here a few seconds ago! It must come with the job description. I continued to stare at, what seemed like the whole school, oblivious to Penelope jumping restlessly at the side of the stage. She had so much confidence in me, not.

            I continued my deep breaths, promising myself it will get over soon. But the only way it would get over was if I’d ever start. My eyes scanned the crowd for a reassuring face. One faces in particular. I spotted Anna first, in her fluorescent top. The girls sat behind the guys. The team was in the front row. Kieran smiled at me and Nate looked calmly at me with a hint of a smile. And I wasn’t sure which guy made me feel calm.

            I shook my head slightly; trust me to get side tracked.  I heard hissing from the side; Penelope was giving me death glares, whisper- shouting at me to start already. Obviously my train of thoughts had got the better of me again. I cleared my throat and started what was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Not talk about Cynthia, talk in public in general. Even from the dead, that girl was challenging me to face my fears. And that made me smile.

            “Hi everyone. I made a speech about who Cynthia was and what she meant to me, but I just realised Cynthia wasn’t the type of person who could be pre-planned and written about. she was a type of person who unless you met her, you wouldn’t believe she existed. She was almost a fictional character; such a perfect person doesn’t exist.  She as the type of person who changed her mind every second and truly believed in living life to the fullest.

                     All of you’ll knew me as Cynthia’s best friend; and rightfully so. Her energy and charisma made everyone take the background. And it wasn’t really her fault. This wasn’t something she tried hard at, or learnt from the sitcoms like we try to. She was born with it. And it made people hate her as much as they loved her, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of her. But in the end of the day you couldn’t help but love her. She may be mean and catty, bitchy even as we grew older, but she’d stand up for you even if she didn’t know you. If she loved something or someone, she loved it ferociously, it was admirable trait. She did things on her own accord al her life, and no one can say she’s wrong for doing so.