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My name is Amran and I live in Gombak. I'm 8 years old. The only son in this family and loving every single second of it! You see, I've always heard about how it sucks to have a brother or a sister. Well, screw you if you have siblings!

I was lying on the couch, watching the news on channel TV3. It showed a woman with light-brown hair, wearing a tight black blazer. She looked like a Malay but where is her tudung?

The fact that I was still watching this boring news was because the remote was over there, beside the TV. And to get the remote required me to sit first and then stand up. After taking several steps to the remote, I must reach for the remote. And then I have to walk back to the couch. It just required a lot of energy and I don't think I am that diligent. Or maybe it was because of my flabby, chubby body, which made it hard for me to get up from this couch. Or maybe I'm just plain lazy. Yeah, maybe that.

Or maybe this was all a conspiracy from Mak, so that I could be slimmer. Well just several steps to the TV will not make any change Mak! Mak always nags about my weight. She said that if my weight keeps increasing, no girls are gonna date me. Well screw them. I hate girls anyway.

"Amran, get up from that couch and prepare to solat. Go! Go!"

"But Mak,"

"No but but dengan Mak ye. Go clean yourself up. If you don't get clean, how is Allah gonna love you?"

I sighed and mouthed "Yes Mak,"

I got up from the couch lazily (and very slowly), and went to take a shower. Then, I had to go to the masjid with Abah and his cabuk motorcycle.

***

At the masjid, I saw this one big sign that said, "Merokok adalah haram dalam Islam". So it was forbidden for us, Muslims, to smoke a cigarette.

"Abah, where were you?" I saw Abah coming from outside of the masjid's area.

"I was smoking outside. Dalam masjid tak boleh merokok." That's weird. I thought smoking is forbidden in Islam. How is it that Abah can smoke outside the masjid? It's like God only exists inside the masjid compartment. Adults sure are weird.

"Let's go inside. Orang dah nak bang tu,"

"Allahuakbar, allahuakbar,"

When the bilal started to iqamat, I raced to the front line of the saf. Ustazah Mariah said that whoever gets the chance to pray in the first saf, he or she will be rewarded with a lot of pahala. Well, who doesn't want a lot of pahala?

"Eh, budak-budak sembahyang kat saf belakang. Pergi sana," and I was shoved back to the back of the saf. Not just the near-the-back saf, but the not-that-near-but-very-far-back saf. It made me sad actually and quite mad. Because I had to pray next to these delinquents, who were playing and not praying.

After praying, I asked Abah about the incident.

"Give the elders a chance la. They actually don't have much time before the angel of death come, and take their lives," he answered while pinching my nose before he continued reading the Quran.

"Come, let's go home," we walked to the place where we put our shoes.

"Err, Abah?"

"Yes honey?"

"My slippers are gone. Again."

"Again?" I sighed. This week, I had changed my slippers three times already. From fancy Fippers, I changed to old, ugly selipar jepun. I was fed up with this kind of situation. I was like, isn't there anything else that somebody wanted to steal except my slippers? There were many tabung containing a lot of money inside the mosque, but they still wanted to take my slippers! People nowadays!