Trouble (Harry Styles story)

The Journal

It felt weird at first, to write about Harry Styles in my journal. But eventually it became a routine, something I needed to do. It never once crossed my mind that he might read it, the page after page of me writing down things I'd learned about him and what he looked like that day.

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a bit, I didn't write about him only, and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. I had never expected to walk into the lunch room and be starred at by Harry and his friends. They were sitting next to the cheer squad, and they were all leaning over something. At the time, I didn't know what they were looking at, so I ignored them and walked over to my usual table.

"Oh my gosh... Ashlyn, I'm so sorry." My best friend, Jenna said, giving me a pitiful look.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You mean you don't know?" Asked my other best friend, Leigh, her mouth hanging open. I shook my head, and looked at them with a confused look. "People said Sophie Marx took your journal from your gym locker, and is showing it to everyone."

I sat there in shock for a moment, staring blankly at them. Then it hit me, they were reading my journal! In a moment of rage, I walked across the lunch room towards Sophie's table. They all looked at me and laughed, everyone accept Harry. He stood there, frowning, holding something in his hands.

"I think this belongs to you." He said, looking me up and down as he held out my plain black journal. I shakily reached out, grabbing hold of the book. It was warm from people touching it. I quickly flipped through it, to make sure no pages or pictures were missing.

"How much did yo-" I began to ask, being interrupted by Sophie.

"Enough to know how majorly you love Harry." The blond laughed. At that moment, her fake tan, black eyeliner and bubblegum pink lips pissed me off. She made me so angry. She'd always had it out for me since I can remember, making school like a living hell.

I looked at Harry, feeling at lump grow in my throat. He looked at me with hard eyes, his arms crossed against his black t-shirt, his tattoos peaking out here and there. His hair was shoved into a beanie, and his eyes seemed dark around the edges, I couldn't tell if it was from lack of sleep or eyeliner. And in that moment, I felt okay. His eyes made me feel better, even if they were starring angrily at me. My secret was out, and I felt way better, like a giant weight had lifted off of me. If he didn't like me back, so what? I'd put up with that thought long enough to know how to deal with it. But what if he did like me back? I would have never had the chance to know if that hadn't happened.

"I wouldn't say majorly." I shrugged, looking back at Sophie. She and her friends began laughing again.

"What's wrong, Miller. You look like your about to cry." Her best friend and sidekick, Maria said smirking. I rolled my eyes, snorted and walked away.

"Ridiculous." I muttered, as I walked away. I looked at everyone, their eyes trained on me. Whispers shot through the crowd:

'I feel bad for her...'

'Sophie's such a bitch...'

'Like he would ever date her.'

'Slut.'

I frowned feeling the lump grow in my throat again. The thoughts about Harry faded just as fast as I was walking away from him. The cold glare in his eyes, the look he gave me. But there was a flicker  of something else in his eyes, only for a moment but I caught it. I wasn't sure what it was, but it was softer, more... kind, then the Harry Styles everyone knew him to be.

I walked back to my table, trying to disappear into the crowds of people everywhere, but whenever I thought I wasn't being looked at I caught someone else starring in my direction.

                                                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Finally." I sigh, throwing myself down on my bed and covering my eyes with my arm. With my dad at work and brother at football practice, I was left alone. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and I seemed to sink into the softness of my mattress. I was about to fall asleep, when the home phone rang. I groaned, sitting up and pattering down the hall. My head had been pounding like crazy since lunch, so I grabbed a Tylenol quickly on the way to the phone.

"Hello?" I said, answering the phone and swallowing the pill dry.

"Hi... Is this Ashlyn?" A voice came, deep, raspy and totally... Harry. I sighed, sitting on top of the kitchen counter.

"Yes... Listen I'm really sorry about toda-" Again, I was interrupted for what seemed like the five hundredth time that day.

"No, really it's... fine." He sounded as tired as I felt, like he couldn't even stay awake. I lied down on the cool countertop, the cold on my forehead distracting me from the butterflies in my stomach, and the pounding in my head, not to mention my chest. "Is what you said, true?" He asked, sounding almost... hopeful? No, why would he be hopeful. He was probably surrounded by his friends and Sophie, everyone holding back their laughs as they listened to us talking.

"What part?" I asked, deciding to be honest. They'd read it anyways, why should I deny it?

"The part about you thinking that I was hot, and that you'd want to get to know me past my um... 'Bad boy personality'?" He asked, quoting me.

"What are you trying to get at, by asking this?" I wondered aloud, full out lying down on the counter now. I wasn't even sure if I was talking properly anymore, I just felt so god. Damned. Tired.

"Just answer the question." He snapped, making me flinch. I sat up slowly on the counter and inhaled, looking out the window at the birds flying around.

"Yes... I meant it. Why else would I write it in a journal, that was supposed to be private, mind you." I said, returning the icy tone in his voice.

"Sorry about that..." He apologized, the iciness gone. "I didn't feel right about reading your journal, but then you mentioned me and well... Ha, you know." He sounded guilty almost, but not quite. He sounded unsure, like he didn't know if he should be telling me this. I heard a few rustling noises, then a meow.

"You never told me you had a cat." I yawned, trying to move past the conversation of my journal. "Actually, you've never spoken to me before today."

"That's not true." He said, more rustling. "I spoke to you in the third grade."

"Oh yeah. You told me I looked ugly with pigtails." I snorted. "What a charmer you were."

"You still would look ugly in pigtails.." He commented.

"Thanks. But just so you know, thanks to you I haven't worn them since." I said, frowning. I hadn't even worn them at my aunties wedding, even though all the flower girls were supposed to.

"I never knew I had such an effect on you." He said, sounding more serious than before.

"You don't even know." I replied, closing my eyes.

"Heh... I just called to apologize, and ask you that..." He said, and I heard some music start up. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Only in art." I said, rolling my eyes. I was such an idiot sometimes...  "Anyways... Bye?"

"Wait." He said, the music’s volume rising. "Do you know this song?" I listened, not questioning why he was asking me this. The guy’s voice sounded familiar, but I didn't recognize the song.

"No but.... It's by Bush, right?" I asked, rubbing my forehead, my eyes closed. I felt the headache fading, the Tylenol was kicking in.

"Yeah." He said, I could almost hear the smile in his voice. It surprised me, usually he was so quiet and didn't act super... Happy. "See you 'round, Ashlyn.'

"See you, Harry." I said, as the line went dead. I pressed the off button and lied to phone down on the counter. I smiled, that was the longest time I'd gone talking to Harry.