All I can remember was that I was leaning on the countertop, my hands resting on top of yours, and then your lips meeting mine, tender and soft and sweet from the Chapstick you applied every sixth period in the back of your math class, pressing gentle, as if I were china glass, or like the teacup you sipped from in the winter when we watched old British television shows, and the tea inside of me was dribbling down the corner and you had to catch it before it fell and stained the carpet; and then I felt your breath that tasted like apples, and God I loved apples, especially when you ate them and I could smell it as you moved my lips apart and inched closer towards me, until I wasn’t focusing on our lips anymore, I was focusing on the skin that touched mine, your hands on my waist, pulling us tight like we were pieces of a puzzle, your skin that was coated in a layer of warm sweat from the hundred degree sun that burned the plants outside the air-conditioned kitchen, our breathing pulsing in a steady wave that made me dizzy, and I grabbed your hair, which was damp at the roots, that hair that you once dyed purple for a joke in the eighth grade but then never dyed it back, keeping that bleached-violet color until all of your hair grew out again, but you still have violet hair to me, no matter what it looks like, and now it was blond again, short the way I liked it, but you promised that the haircut wasn’t to satisfy me but for another girl in that you liked so passionately you were willing to do anything for, and that scared me, honestly, even though I knew you were kidding, the fact that there might have been someone scared me, because I was so willing to give myself up for you and I didn’t even make sure you loved me, but you did, and you did now, as you kissed my neck slowly, forcing my eyes shut, to not look at the pastel colors of the kitchen but focus on the touch of you, of your body, and the sensations that you caused me, and in the old house, I got scared again, only for a second, because I thought about that time you almost fooled me into thinking you liked someone else, and I thought that maybe you were honest, but maybe you weren’t, and in the end, the only thing that was keeping my trust in you was the fact the you were making out with me right then, and I got scared, and I opened my eyes and told you to stop, and I’m not sure if you did stop because everything got blurry and I don’t remember anything else.
