The Dawn of Realization.

Chapter Eight.

 I stood behind the counter at work, staring at myself in the mirrored wall parallel to myself. Second hand clothes hung from the corners, but there was still enough space for me to see my reflection in the dusty glass. I took everything in, with a grain of salt.

     I could almost see my dad looking back at me instead of myself. We had that same black hair that was so common in the Alexander family, the clear blue eyes, and the porcelain skin. My eyes were round like his, my lips were bowed like his, and my nose turned up just a tad like his. I wouldn't be me without him. 

     I tore my eyes from the mirror and glanced down at his phone in my hand. 

      555-3457. 

     " Who are you? " I asked, out loud. My thumb hovered above the  send  button, but I couldn't bring myself to press it. I had been ready to know who 'baby cakes' was, but not this anonymous, needy caller that bugged my dad to death on his last day with us. 

     I heard the little bell above the door jingle and I hurriedly put the phone away in my pocket.  I glanced up, only to sigh. 

     " At one point, you used to get excited when I came through the door. " Thierry said, crossing his arms.  

     " Thierry, I'm working. " I said, leaning off the glass counter top. 

     " Your shift is over in ten minutes. " He said, pointing to the clock behind me. I groaned silently and raked my fingers through my hair. " Want to go for a ride? like old times?" 

     " Thierry, you know -" 

     " Please, Dawn? I know you're going through a really difficult time, but I'm trying to be here for you. I am here for you. " He cut me off, grabbing one of my hands in his, brushing his fingers across the tips of mine. " I miss you. " 

     I felt my heart clench up in my chest and I resisted the urge to cry and let it all spill out for Thierry to pick up and put back together for me. I sucked in a hard breath and braced myself as I met his pretty green eyes. 

     " Okay, Thierry. I'll go for a ride with you. " I mumbled, checking the clock again.  The girl taking over my shift was already in the back, sorting through the new donations. I stepped back in the donation room, grabbing my jacket, and telling her that I was leaving. She yelled goodbye and then I returned to Thierry. 

     We walked out to his truck and I climbed in to the passenger seat, closing the door behind me. I watched as he came around and got in, too. But I just kept thinking this was a mistake. I had more important things I should be doing instead of hanging out with Thierry. 

     Like 555-3457. I had yet to build up enough courage to even call, let alone come up with anything to say once whoever it was answered the phone. What was there to say? " I think you really killed my dad " didn't seem like a good starting line.  

     " I do miss you, Dawn. " He said after a few minutes of driving in silence. He reached over, lacing his fingers through mine. I felt my stomach do it's little flip flopping. The one that was welcomed before my dad's death. 

     " I miss you, too... " 

     " But? " 

     " I have important things to take care of, Thierry. " I said, glancing out the window, unable to look over at him just for a moment.  " My dad was killed. He didn't commit suicide, Thierry. He was killed." 

     " Dawn, this isn't something you want to do alone. " 

     " I have to do this. No one else is trying to find out who killed him. There's a murderer out there somewhere and they're just going to let him get away with it. I can't let them do that to my dad. I can't." I said, breathlessly. I felt strung out; closed in. 

     " What if your dad did kill himself? What if you didn't know him like you think you do. Maybe he was a complete stranger to you. " Thierry said, breaking my heart. 

     " No! " I shouted. " No! He cheated on my mom, lied to clients, and maybe even me. But my dad would never kill himself. Never, Thierry. He was not that kind of man."

     We rode in silence together for several eternal moments. I wanted to take back what I said, but I meant it. I remember sitting on that bed with my mom, seeing the different in the hand- writing. Knowing his killer had written my mother and I an apology note.  

     " I'm sorry. " He said after what seemed like forever. " But Dawn, you're letting this consume you, night and day. I'm so worried about you. I never see you anymore."

     " This will be over soon, " I said, " I'm close to finding out who did this. " 

     His hand left mine and reached up, smoothing my hair down, his palm resting against the nape of my neck. It was vaguely familiar and comforting. 

     We had turned down a dirt road and I knew exactly where we were going. The far side of the lake; the place we had always went before.  

     The road ended, opening up to a gathering of willow trees and beyond that was the corner of Odessa Lake. I wasn't sure if anyone else knew about this little nook so far from the main side of the lake, it was so concealed. So peaceful. 

     Of course, it was too cold to be swimming, but we never came here to swim. 

     " You'll get through this, Dawn. When my mom died, I thought I'd be in pain forever, but slowly, it gets better. " He told me. 

     I suddenly remembered that he had lost his mother a few years back when we were still in middle school. She had lost her life in a head on collision up on I 45, but somehow it felt different.  I had forgotten. 

     He scooted across the bench seat, wrapping his arm around my shoulders, holding my tight. I think it had been over a month since I had been this close to him. Or anyone.  I rested my head back on his arm, peering out the window, up at the moon.  He fiddled with my hair, twirling it around his fingers. 

     " I'm sorry, Thierry. " I said, breaking the quiet around us. " I'm sorry. " 

     " Hey, it's okay. " He said and I looked at him, square in the face. Seeing his big, green eyes, his long lashes, his soft lips, his prickly side burns, and his faint freckles. I reached up, cupping his cheek in the palm of my hand. 

     " I'm sorry. " I said again, kissing him. I didn't even know why I kept apologizing, but I knew I should. I couldn't stop the tears welling up in the corners of my eyes, but I couldn't stop kissing him either. I had missed it too much. I had deprived myself of Thierry for far too long.  

     I finally pulled my lips away from his, wrapping my arms around him, and burrying my face in the cradle of his neck. I cried. He held me closer.  I sobbed. He held me closer. 

     I hadn't cried since the day I found my dad. Over a month ago. I had been going through all of this dry- eyed and cold hearted. But Thierry let me cry. 

     " He's gone. " I whimpered in to the collar of his T-shirt. " He's not coming back." 

     " Shh, " he whispered, stroking my hair. He stretched out in the seat, allowing me to curl up in his arms.  I kept my head hidden from him, though. I didn't want him to see my face. " I'm here. " 

     " I know. " I said, leaning up and kissing him again. Tomorrow, I would call 555-3457, but tonight? I would forget about it all. The only thing that was happening in the entire world was just Thierry and I. Tomorrow the world will be normal again. Tonight this is all that mattered.