Hope

To: Tanya ~

This is to a friend I haven't talked to in a long time. She's been through a lot and I don't know what to do to help her. I don't think we parted on a good note the last time we had a conversation but this is for her.

If you guys are going through depression, cutting, suicidal thoughts or things along those lines. I'm here if you need anything and this is also for you guys.

Hey, T. Take it as a birthday gift, an apology, a simple dedication, anything u want. Sorry it took a while. I wanted it to be finished before I published it. I know it's not much but I hope you like it.

I hope that whenever you feel like you couldn't go on anymore, you'll read this and you'll hang on to it because I'm obviously a horrible companion when that happens.

•~•~•

There's a girl that was once happy, oblivious to the cruel world that she's living in.

She had her personal bubble; sheltered and naïve.

It bought her some time but when she reached that age when she finally understood heartbreak, disappointment and worry. It was something she couldn't take.

It consumed her. Day by day by day.

That particular morning, she couldn't take it anymore. She felt lost - too lost - in this world. Like a helpless puppy. So she decided to take a small walk around the town she's been living in her whole life one last time before she leaves for good.

First, she went to the park. The morning wind blew the swing lightly, causing it to creak softly and swing in its place.

She stared at it long and hard, remembering when her father would push her on that same swing. Her 6-year-old laughter filled her own mind. The feel of the grin she portrayed tingled the ends of her mouth, willing it to grin that wide. One more time.

She approached the swing and sat on it, praying that it won't fall off under her. The chains that held the swing creaked louder once she sat on it but it didn't fall apart.

She hummed a song unconsciously, the same song that her father would sing when he pushed her on this same swing. The memories filled her with nostalgia. She wanted to grin that same joyful grin but even when she tried to stretch her lips, it was too heavy for her to manage.

She decided to move on. She stood and continued walking down a block from the park and stopped short to stare on the empty spot beside the old bench where a balloon stand used to be.

Every Saturday morning, her 4 year old sister would wake her up and drag her out the door just to bring her here and buy two balloons. They would make a simple wish and let it float to the sky.

It was a symbolism she used to tell her sister, before life came crashing down on her and annihilated all hopes for her. Her sister, though, she could live in that bubble a little more.

She thought about what she would always tell her sister.

"Inside that balloon are you and your dreams. The fingers that are holding it are your doubts and worry. Now, let it go and watch that balloon fly high."

She wondered if anyone would tell her sister those words after she passes. As much as she wanted to listen to her own advice, something was stopping her from doing it.

She decided to keep walking and soon enough, she was in front of a mall's parking lot.

She remembered the laughs, the smiles, the teasing and all the fun she had inside that building, just being with her friends.