Heal Me (Irony)

Delusion

I gasp when I saw Dhez looking at me from the park. Hurt is evident in her eyes and I felt my heart being squeeze inside of me. She put her hands in her mouth to prevent herself from crying out loud. I know. I've seen her do that a lot of times.

I turn to her letting go of Seung Yun. I've only taken a couple of steps away when Seung Yun hug me from behind. I felt her but I didnt let go of Dhez' eyes.  

" Dhez .." I called her name. She was looking at Seung Yun's arms around my waist as tears started to fall on her cheeks. 

Damn! Why is she here? How ? A lot questions are running through my mind and I never really thought that she would see me - see us, today.

" Hyun..." Seung Yun look at me with question in her eyes.  I look at her momentarily and look back at Dhez again. I have to go to her.  I hold on to Seung Yun's  hands and take it off me slowly. I can hear her holding  her breath . She's probably surprised. 

" Hyun.. If you leave now I wont be here when you come back.." She said her face sowing no emotion but her eyes look stormy.

I look at her then turn to where Dhez was standiung but she's not there anymore. Where did she go?

I take one step away from Seung Yun when I felt her turn around and walk away. I know shes hurt, but I cant take Dhez' face from my memory. 

I ran all the way to the park in front of the cfe where Seubng Yun and I were a while ago. I look around hoping I can catch a glimpse of her. I hope she hasnt gone home yet. I ran all the way to the parking lot but she is no where to be seen.

My cellphone started vibrating in my pocket. I wantred to ignore it but then I changed my mind what if its Dhez?

Its an unknown number.

" Lee Jonghyun..." The voice on the other line is definitely female, but one that I dont recognize at all.

" Who is this?" I asked I cant mask the irritation  from my voice. I got important things to do. 

" Tsk tsk tsk...Jonghyun..Jonghyun.. How can you be so cruel?" I can hear the smirk from her voice.

I dropped the call and hurriedly ran to my parked car. I dont have time for prank callers. Time is of the essence. I have to find Dhez.  I put my phone in the handsfree cradle and dialed Minhyuk's number. Then I backed out of the parking lot. Where is she?

the number you are calling is out of the coverage area.....

I disconnected the call and almost cursed again. 

I remember last night. Dhez slept with Haru because he keeps on asking to be with her. She look at me  regretfullly. We had plans last night of drinking soju after Haru went to sleep. I guess we have to reschedule it again.

These have been happening to us almost every week. Sometimes I was so frustrated that I cant have her all to myself. Thats why I was really happy when Dhez' mom called and asked to have Haru for a month. She really missed her grandson.  I have been plans on bringing Dhez to Jeju Island for a week after that but I guess, its not gonna happen.

I cant really blame anyone.

I can only blame myself.

Why did I go to Seung Yun? I know I love Dhez with all my heart so why did I just hurt her?

Ive deluded myself into thinking that she will never found out it. Ive convinced myself that I will be able to stop before anybody got hurt but I was wrong.

Now I need to do something before I lose the most important person in my life!