Monday,October 19 8am. Ok. So I was just in the kitchen, eating cereal-you know,the usual Monday morning routine- when my mum comes out of the bathroom with this funny look on her face. I mean,she was all pale and her hair was kind of sticking out and she had on her robe instead of her kimono,which usually means she's premenstrual. So I was all,"Mum ,you want some aspirin ?Because no offence,but you look like you could use some." Which. Is sort of a dangerous thing to say to a premenstrual woman,but you know ,she's my mum,and all. It's not like she was going to karate chop me,the way she would if anybody else said that to her. But she just went,"No. No,thanks," in this dazed voice. So then I assumed something really horrible had happened. You know, like the cat had eaten another sock,or they were cutting off our electricity again because I'd forgotten to fish the bill out of the salad bowl where mum keeps stuffing them. So I grabbed her and I was like,"Mum?mum,what is it what's wrong? She sort of shook her head,like she does when she's confused over the microwave instructions on a frozen pizza."Mia,"she said,in this shocked but happy way,"Mia. I'm pregnant." Oh my god! Oh my god! My mother is having my algebra teacher's baby.
