The Pretend Mute

IV

A/N: this entire chapter is what happened to Kira. It was serious. And anything not in italics is in Alex's POV.
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FUCK YOU!!!
I HATE YOU!!! Their last words to each other. We were on the way to my theatre performance. And then suddenly, we weren't. I don't know what happened, but I do know that it ruined me.
I was the most beautiful, most popular person in school. I talked to everyone. Everyone talked to me.

I mattered.
I was Kira Daniels. The "it" girl. Until today. Today I became "Kira Daniels? Who is that?"
This wreck was not my fault. Was it? We wouldn't have been in the car if it weren't for my perfomance. But the wreck itself? Not my fault. I don't remember what started it, but my mom and dad were arguing. My younger siblings, ages 2, 5, 7, 8, and 10 were yelling in the back of the car. When dad reached a turn, he didn't see a truck and pulled straight out in front of it. It was a t-bone hit, killing all seven of them on impact. I was the only survivor. The other car had one man in it and he died too. I was the only survivor out of nine people. And I was lucky to live. I know that life is important now. I understand that I should not take my life for granted. My five younger siblings are dead. My seven favorite people. They all died at once. I had friends, but none were close. My siblings and my parents were my only family, my only real friends, and they were gone. All at once.
My injuries included both of my legs being broken, aside from all but two of my ribs, my left ulna, my right radius and humerus, my left shoulder, and my face was smashed in. As in, caved in, had to be reconstructed. Removed to repair damage to my brain, put together like a puzzle with missing pieces, and sewn back on.
Wow, no wonder she winces when writing with her right hand, and automatically moves her pencil to her left. And walks with a labored limp. And takes shallow breaths, not deep. And half of her face is paralyzed. And she thinks she's hideous. I wonder if she ever looks in the mirror. There are people that can't look in the mirror after facing injuries like that.
I only look in the mirror once a day. I hate my reflection; it isn't like is used to be. It isn't perfect. It's red and puffy and paralyzed. It's bent at weird angles. I have to work hard to move my arms or legs. I struggle to breathe. I had to learn to write with my left hand. Five months. I finished tenth grade online, and now I'm sixteen and hopeless. No friends, no family, no real home. I don't speak, so I'll never have a job. All I have is writing. Reading. Photography. Singing. And I still act. Only for myself, and never the main part. Not anymore. I lost my main character appearance, my attitude, my hope. I lock myself away from the world in a hopeless, dark orphanage with no one to talk to. I have no one. I have nothing. Except for myself.
I feel horrible. I understand her problem with cussing. But I'm very confused. It clears a lot of things up, but she sings? And acts? But..that requires talking. She doesn't do that.