An Innocent Mistake (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 21

I only thought about going to Lady Clara's house. The boss of generous attitude and down to earth personality. I still couldn't forget the moment when she brightened up from hearing that I agreed. She must have thought that finally someone understands me and is willing to take out time. More than worrying about the time, I was more afraid of the faces and stares that Ragenite gave me. Although they were contemporary but still explained very much of what she thought about me deep inside.
I brushed the thick dust from the window but it was obstinate to come off easily. I wetted the worn out cloth that I found in one of the drawers in the kitchen-must have been lying there for ages. And expected the dust to be gone in one try. But it didn't. The dust that now appeared very sticky. Showing the yellowness.
I struggled. Just after few tries I couldn't pay enough energy anymore. I panted for a breath. And wiped the beads off my temples. This is just useless, I thought. I can rather look at the work in the kitchen. Dropping the cloth to the floor I drifted to the kitchen.
The floor there was different than what the whole house consisted of. The natural stone flooring laid beneath my calm feet picking up the tranquility and slight coldness. I often deliberately slid on the floor to feel the perfect smoothness. Sends you rich surge of feeling.
The sink didn't hold the dirty dishes. The silver basin brilliantly shone from the last night as I have cleaned it well. I mentally made a tick mark to assure through the list of chores. Only thing that popped in my head was to wipe the table and seats of the chairs. They were supposed to show dustless. I wondered what was the reason behind keeping the place perfect and tip-top. It wasn't that someone was visiting her or there were inspections. But this is how she wanted and I admired that habit of her.
I came out of the kitchen and halted by the Ragenite's room. I came up to realize that I hadn't seen her in the morning. Due to the few chores I was distracted to think about her.
I didn't know if she could be sleeping the whole time or doing something else.
Moving closer to the room I touched against the door gently in order to check- if it was open or not. Fortunately or unfortunately- the door swing on its hinges, pushing slowly out of the way. I then took my hand to myself and advanced toward the ajar. The morning light illuminated the room from the windows. As far as I was able to see Ragenite hasn't shown. An eerie feeling pecked my skin since I was going into her room for the first time. Last time she freaked me out to death on my mere attempt.
Inside was an ancient mess. Papers were strewn on the floor, originally falling from the desk, and couple books were opened to somewhere in the middle but they didn't have a bookmark.
I trotted in, slipping past the door. Surprisingly there were those unfathomable natural herbs scattered untidily.Many of them spoke to be dried from very longtime, becoming crisp and parched like autumn leaves.
Approaching the wooden chair which was plagued by the decaying yellowness- was climbing up to the chair's back and turning its way down over on to the seat part.
I strained my eyes to witness another world behind an ordinary looking door. It was very strange. Among it I came across a distinct feeling in the air. It felt like autumn in summer. Perhaps that could reason why Ragenite wore the black dress that equalled to double layer.
The moment wasn't over when I struck upon the paper, a blank one not lined on the floor. I picked it up with a raising sense of bewilderment. There were words. But neither of them were understandable. It was totally a different language. Not English, Spanish, Danish or Hebrew. Most of all I was confused from where to start. I angled from the right side then left. Up and down. But not a single one claimed an explicit meaning in my observation. It looked useless.
I garnered the rest of the papers from the floor, constructing a thin pile and stacked it on the desk. The desk itself was lost miles from being organized. The shriveled dead leaves and stems hid the color of the wood. I swept the leaves to one side and amazed at how cleaned it looked.
Only what Ragenite liked was keeping the whole world spruced up beside her own little room where she spent her most of the time.
Funny to think about it.
I moved to the showcase standing against the wall. Through the glass cabinets, more books were visible sitting quietly on the shelf. Probably untouched apart from the ones on the desk.
I hoisted my feet and was about to land to the following position that a whimper of swinging door spliced the air, inducing cautiousness. I didn't believe in it until I saw the warning brought up by Ragenite. She stood at the door, fierce and hot.
Seeing her,are my heart drop. Sickness stirred in my stomach as I felt myself kneeling to the fatal circumstances.
Before I would loose my mustered up strength, Ragenite stumbled in, stomping towards me in a overpowering glare. They appeared like deadly knife cutting into your eyeballs. Pure evil.
"Who gave you permission to come in to my room?" Her body was nearly my size deliberately leant over me. "I said who gave you the permission to come into my room?" She got up louder, that the crows perching on the roof flew away fright.
"No-no-nobody. I-I- am sorry." I stammer dreadfully.
My legs shivered under the utmost terror.
"Then why did you come?"
"So I could clean your room. And also I didn't see you in the morning."
She eyed up to the desk which she expected to be the way she left. But when she found it differently with the leaves aside, the anger clambered to the peak.
"Why did you do that?" Saying that she grabbed my neck and chained around with her rough, skin-peeled hands. She started to strangle me like I was a dummy.
"I have told you to stop breaking into my room. Told you that time. Told you, remember?" Her shrieks were capable of ripping my eardrums. They clawed into my ear like sharp, pointy nails.
I barely gasped for a proper breath.
My voice was whistling instead of sending out words. But sometimes a word was made out as I tried to nail down her fingers with my leftover strength.
Even with me doing that, she was stuck to me as a crab.
"Ra-g-e-nite le-ave me. I ca-n't br-br-eath."
"You shall be punished you little girl for breaking into my room in absence."
The more pressure she used against me, I was more dragged to the state of unconsciousness. Fate of curling my eyes close was ringing in my head, as the heart beat was barely heard in my ears, like she was directly clasping my heart from beating in my chest. A haze clouded my sight slowly and slowly and I dangled over my raised firm neck.
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When I tried to open my eyes, I felt someone by me. A calloused palm soothed my forehead, injecting me into serenity.
Then my eyes opened like a bulb which flickered on by the spark of energy after a long time. The pain of being throttled was stuck with me. While,the thoughts continued to bash my dizzy head. Ragenite's face directly on me before was flashing across like it was still happening.
My hands touched the bed sheet, making me feel alive once again. The mist in my eyes cleared away. I came upon finding Ragenite sitting at the bedside, facing opposite with head in her hands. I looked around dubiously.
It wasn't until later I came to realize that I was not sitting on my bed. I was somewhere else. A jolt of energy slithered in my sleeping veins and my eyes opened wider. I saw that it was Ragenite's room. Pale yellow walls standing next to the wooden bed, (which had proper bed sheet, threadbare blanket laying at one corner of the bed and a comfortable pillow). This surprised me how I sleep upstairs without half of those things. My room was hollow and haunted. No movement, no sound.
By now observing the room, I was sitting up on the bed. But Ragenite hadn't noticed me yet. She was transcended to a different world. Her wiry hair were clumped in a low ponytail. Not a smooth one. I was used to seeing her hair matted and roughly sticking out. Band wrapping the hair made it odd. She seemed less like herself and perhaps more like what she wanted to show.
Being frozen on the bed, I caught the noise. Whimpering. Or crying. So light, barely audible. My concern touched the summit of the tension.
Who else could it be? There is only Ragenite in the room.
I moved, disturbing the air, and looked toward Ragenite. As I did that, a feeling of dry throat broke inside and I begged for water.
"I need...wa..ter......please." It nearly became impossible to talk. My voice sounded like nails being scratched down the walls.
Ragenite moved in the vinyl chair, face red with weeping tears wetting her eyes to cheeks. The bloodshot eyes fixed innocence on her approach.
She lastly wiped off her tears and attempted towards me. "I will bring the water." She said and hurried to the kitchen and brought a mug filled water. "Here you go."
I took big gulps, slurping like a baby who drank water holding the glass with both hands. Not a drop was left when I took the mug away from my mouth.
Ragenite was standing quietly, showing sympathy on my condition. One or two more drops of tears popped from her eyes, crawling down the wrinkles. She then didn't stand there and sadly sauntered out of the room. I guessed she didn't have anymore words.
I looked into the mug hopefully for more water, but inside was very empty, arid. I got up and wandered out the room. There was Ragenite standing by the wall nearby staircase. Face turned off from the embarrassment.
Instead I would go and assort her mood, I tumbled over the floorboards, head spinning like a ball on the tip of the finger. I was barely able to handle myself.
All I wanted was more water to quench my extreme thirst. My tongue was irritating from the dry, burning feeling. I went ahead, turned the faucet handle and the water of mild temperature surged out. I immediately contained as much as I could up to the brim until it began to overflow. And poured most of it in the greedy mouth.
Thank goodness, I thought.
Dropping the mug on the counter, I ambled out and met up with Ragenite again. She askew forward not withstanding how she had been standing for a growing while. I went to her and softly touched her back. She didn't turn around at first but then looked. The tears were gone from her hazel eyes. Her pale skin glowed.
"Why are you crying?" I asked.
The thin, pursued lips stayed unmoved. They seemed like they were sealed by a transparent tape. But I noticed a slight movement happening in her body. Face was steady, while her hands trembled uncertainly. Like they wanted to speak for her. Something that couldn't be done with the mouth was done by her feeble hands.
"Why are you crying?" Once again my questioned was posed. I wasn't very sure that the answer would be same.
Standing was becoming harder for me, I felt myself faltering from the sickness stirring in my body.
"Sorry," came out a fading response, like it needed some dusting to lucidly hear it.
Then I was very sure of it. She was ashamed for throttling me. But then if she was, why did she do it again. Why not hold on her anger.
"You were last time too."
"I know."
"You want to kill me, right?"
She lingered to my eyes and the hollow glare stole my power to look at her anymore.
"No I didn't mean to kill you. I would never."
"But I would eventually.....die."
Steps tapped up to me and halted, being few inches away. "You are so young. You don't deserve to die. Live long, my dear." The whisper blew her words when the voice started to slowly take off.
I shrugged aimlessly. Nothing much was left. But then, "I believe I have to go to Lady Clara's house. It's almost afternoon."
"Oh, yeah, umm..... I nearly forgot." She said, apprehensively. "But......but you are not feeling well. How will you walk?"
"I'm fine. I can walk." Lying. I wanted to be away from Ragenite. She was no more there. But something was unsettling. I was making contact with my instincts. I knew I couldn't possibly miss this one.
Coming out in a proper dressing I went down and expected Ragenite to be waiting for me. I found her hovering out of the room and tucking the lock on the door. Wondered what was left behind to hide. Didn't the serious mishap taught her anything? I was afraid.
"Oh look at you, you are ready. Look nice." She said, buttering her grin.
"Thank you." I smiled very little that it was lost before she noticed.
We left the house when the sun outside had dwindled down, collecting the sharp sunshine and slowly preparing to head west. Walking next to Ragenite was a struggle. I had to resist the urge of being alone. The air was cool and relaxing. I would have chosen to hang out somewhere at least away from Ragenite. She aggravated me. Since after her second attempt of throttling me to death. Every time she tramped on the sidewalk, my anger meter went up. My patient broke inside of me.
"Ragenite can I go myself? I know the way from here."
Suppressing the agitation coming to the brim of my lips. She stopped walking and looked at me.
"Is something wrong if I drop you?"
"No. But I can go now. It isn't very far."
"It's okay I can drop you. Would be my pleasure-"
"I said I can go," interrupting. My face would have probably turned red. I already felt the heat sticking to my skin.
Ragenite became quiet. She dropped the gaze to the ground. I inferred there was farther a response that would pop at any second.
Then lifting the gaze up, she said. "But you will remember this. Don't say a word about me to Lady Clara. Not even about what happened this morning."
Digging the hands in the jeans pocket, I gave it a pause. I was place pd under another expectation. There were already those other responsibilities on my head.
"If I will where would I live. Don't worry."
The satisfaction was accepted by her eyes. And now that she lived happily ever after. But abiding with that she doesn't scrap the feet off the ground and redirect them to opposite.
"Now I guess I will be going back." Rest she muttered under her breath, presumably bursting her grudge.
She determined to turn around but her heart strained her to leave. She gave me longing glances, communicating merely with her expressions. But in the other hand I ignored the wickedness. If she doesn't know I have stopped caring about her feelings.
She is that stranger again.
Throughout the remaining route, I thought I haven't done a great thing. It was my fault to become homeless. If it wasn't for the false idea I carried in my mind all the time. Then maybe I would still be living the easy life.