My Angel

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I remember every second, as if it was yesterday.

She had the eyes of innocence,
The face of an angel,
A personality of a Dreamer
And a smile, that hid more pain, than I can ever imagine.

When I asked her what happened, she always answered:"I am a angel. But with broken wings."

I always looked at her, not understanding what she meant.

Today I understand her.

When we were kids, I used to looks at her at the playground.

When she ran, her glodenbrown hair flew after her, and her long blue white dress after her.

Once a wind came up, and her dress looked like wings. The Wings of an Angel.

That's when I knew: This girl was something special.

And that was the moment I fell.

I fell in love.

But do you know why it is called to fall in love?
You fall and crash on the ground when the person you love doesn't catch you.

But she was there.

She catched me, with her huge, white wings.

She saved me.
But I couldn't save her.

When I wanted to help her, she smiled her smile:"If I would get rid of my devil, I would loose my angel."

And I looked around, waiting to see a little, ugly, red creature, with horns and tails of fire.

And she held my hand:"What are you looking for?"

"For your devil."

"They are not visible for the lone eye."

I looked at her:"I guess its better so. He is ugly."

Her eyes started to blink like stars:"The devil isn't a little red creature. He was a angel once, and he used to be Gods favourite."

I fell in love again with every time she spoke with her own voice.

Not the voice of society or family.

The time she spoke what she believed in.

And I believed what she believed.

Years passed by, and we became closer and closer, as if someone pulled slowly our hearts together.

I remembered when she told me, that I was her rock in a wild sea.

I remember when she told me, that her little heart is mine.

And I remember when I asked her to be mine.

I wanted to marry her.

But before you expect a angel to be yours, you first need to create heaven for her. Angels don't live in hell.

So I worked to make her a heaven, and it worked.

I bought her a ring and asked her to be my Angel.

And she agreed.

I never was that happy.

We married and she became my angel, my light, my wife.

Then it started.

She started to See the devil, demons, and creatures, to monstrous to describe or to name.

Everytime she started to cry, and beg for her angel.

I used to hug her, and she said I am her angel.

She used to be silent and after some months I thought it ended.

But it didn't end.

One night the 15.03 she ran away at night. I ran after her, concerned for her well being.

She stood at the edge of a cliff, her long white nightdress flying around her like waves.

Her hair was in tiny, little curls and she looked like she had a crone.

She turned around, I could see her feelings in her sea blue eyes, as blue as the sea under the cliff, pierced by rocks.

"Angels can fly."
She whispered and jumped.

Today I am standing here at the same cliff, a year after she jumped.

A sad smile makes it to my face.

"Angels can fly."
I whispered and jumped.

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