I am being consumed by grief.
It follows me wherever I go.
Sometimes it is near enough to sicken me,
And at times it falls behind so that I may breathe.
At times it hides and allows me to smile or to laugh.
But it is never gone.
It is in the memories that haunt me.
It is the darkness that engulfs me.
It is the heat in my breath when my soul heaves with pain.
It is the cold air that pierces my skin.
It is the deep ache in my bones.
It is the sweat on my brow.
It is the fire in my veins.
It is the thoughtless words people dare to say.
It is the hollow promises of "it will get better"
It is the expression on my father's face when he doesn't know what to tell me.
It is the soothing words that my mother speaks.
It is the seamless shadow I cannot shake.
It is the cloud above my head,
And the rain on my face.
It is the weight on my chest;
The weight I cannot lift.
It breaks my back,
And it beats me without mercy.
It is the fear that I will never be the same.
It is the smile I fake to protect myself.
It is the loneliness;
The emptiness that stays,
Refusing to depart from me.
It is the scream I cannot let out.
It is in the thoughts I dare not share aloud,
The thoughts I can only write.
It is in my heart when I feel oh, how much I miss her.
It is in my my mind when I think of the hatred I have for myself.
It is in my voice when I whisper "why?"
It is knowing how small I am without her.
It is my burden, it is my weakness.
It is inside of me,
Around me,
A part of me.
It is my journey.
It is my war.
It is killing me.
It is the death of a friend too good to go so soon.
It is the time we never had.
It is the space that cannot filled.
The space that eats me alive.
It is the space she left in me.
YOU ARE READING
Everyone Hurts Sometimes
PoesieI was doing great. The world was mine... Until Ariel got sick. A couple of poems about grief, friendship, depression and pain inspired by the death of a best friend.
